Science Class for Ghosts

Whoa!

2011-11-18T16:54:00.000-06:00

Has it really been 5 months since I posted?

Whoa.

I've missed you. I really, truly have. Sadly I just haven't really known what to write about.

What?!

Well, there's more to that statement. Things have been happening; I acquired my real estate license, signed on with a brokerage & have been cutting my teeth in the field. It's a lot to think about, a lot to learn...4 closed & 2 pending sales later I have space in my mind to think about blogging again. Ahem, to start blogging again.

xoxx

Yo La Tengo

2011-06-25T00:38:00.002-05:00

Ira of Yo La Tengo

I always love a good rock show.

But tonight, (sigh), what magic.

Yo La Tengo.

Georgia, Ira + James.

No opener, two sets with just me, them & about 200 people. We were all super sweaty from dancing and the summer heat.

At the start of the show they spun a Wheel of Fortune style wheel to determine what the set would be. "S Songs" was the winner, meaning only songs that start with "S" would be played. This insured a favorite, "Stockholm Syndrome" to be played & when it was I closed my eyes intermittently, dancing and singing along, pretty unaware of my surroundings. Yes, I was That Girl. But only for That Song.

I stood in front, 2nd row, for the entire first set smiling with a giddiness I haven't experienced over live music since all ages shows at First Avenue during high school and early college. A few songs into the second set I gave up my fantastic vantage point for cooler air in the back accompanied by drunkards laughing and talking over the magical music. But it didn't matter; Yo La Tengo was playing.

xoxx

Gil Scott Heron 4.1.49 - 5.27.11

2011-05-27T23:20:00.000-05:00

Rest In Peace, my friend.

xoxx

A Post for The Unions.

2011-03-10T02:05:00.006-06:00

Indulge me for a moment, will you? We're going to travel to a far away land in which employees & workers have absolutely no rights.

It's 4:50 and you are just about finished with your work day. Just as you are getting ready to retrieve your things and walk out the door your boss approaches you & informs you that you will be staying on for an extra 4 hours tonight. You will not be receiving any overtime pay, a dinner break, or any other kind of break for that matter. It doesn't matter that you have a child in daycare who needs to be picked up by 6 or that you take public transportation that stops running at 7. Your boss needs you to stay. Your childcare and transportation issues are not their problem. Now get to work.

What would you do?

Well, if you want to keep this job (& in this economy you do) you will stay and keep your mouth shut, because if you even argue your boss could fire you on the spot and s/he has the absolute right to.

Now let's travel back to our world & experience a similar scenario.

It's 4:50 and you are just about finished with your work day. Just as you are getting ready to retrieve your things and walk out the door your boss approaches you & asks if you would be available to stay on for an extra 4 hours tonight. You would receive overtime pay (time and a half) and a dinner break. You let her/him know that you have a child in daycare who needs to be picked up by 6 and that you won't have a way home after 7 due to public transit service ending at that time. Your boss understands & asks if you would be available to stay tomorrow night? You say you will try to make arrangements for childcare and transportation and if you can, sure you'd be able to stay.

Which world would you rather work in?

Without the blood of unions there would be no labor laws in place to protect us from unregulated work days without breaks or compensation for time worked over 40 hours in a week. Without unions there would be no OSHA to keep work environments safe. There are people who find unions to be obsolete. The above scenarios should illustrate how they are not.

Union is a word with potential to stir up so much emotion and aggression. I am still trying to understand why so many are angry with union workers for having pensions, health care at a reasonable cost & the trigger point as of late, collective bargaining rights. They are among the last to enjoy such luxuries and they deserve them. Is that what the anger is about? Union workers having better benefits than others? But here's the thing, we all deserve great benefits so quit shoving. If unions lose their right to collective bargaining (as they did this evening in Wisconsin) they potentially lose it all. If unions lose it all, eventually the rest of us will too.

It's sort of like we're all in elementary school again and Joey is mad at Sally because she gets cookies in her lunch while he only gets an apple. He makes such a big deal that the school outlaws cookies in lunches. Now nobody can have cookies in their lunch just because Joey was jealous of Sally.

Ridiculous isn't it?

xoxx

Resurfacing.

2011-03-09T02:39:00.003-06:00

Having been swallowed nearly whole by the atrocity of this year's Minnesota Winter, I think I may have been spit out. I hope.

While it seems obvious that copious amounts of snow (60+ inches here this winter - no joke) would cause one to hole up in their house with good music, a handsome husband & cable on demand until The Great Thaw, it seems that such events might also move one to blog.

Not so much.

I came here everyday, though not to write, but to check my blogroll for newly updated blogs to read. Don't worry, I've still been writing, just more focused on journaling.

I guess I just misplaced my Bloggles*.

But alas, I found them; they are back on my face & I am seeing the world again with eyes wide for blogging material.

xoxx

*I believe the term "Bloggles" was coined by an old college classmate of mine, Beth, a few years back by way of comments on another classmate, Jill's blog. Kind of brilliant, right?

Heirloom.

2010-11-18T10:51:00.001-06:00

Yesterday my Gramps gave me this lovely little painting. In 1939 he purchased it at Dayton's for his mother (my great-grandmother & namesake) as a birthday gift. It was a mere coincidence that it was inscribed, "Delilah", though I suspect that is what spurred Gramps to buy the painting for her as Delilah was her first name.

I never knew her, but I was named for her so I do feel a certain affinity for her. I grew up hearing about her. I know her life story backwards & forwards: the names of all nine of her children, the house she lived in, the house she was born in. Her heartaches & her joy.

Handsome Randy & I have recently begun watching the new HBO series, Boardwalk Empire. Boardwalk Empire takes place in the year 1920, which is the year Gramps was born. As I've been watching this program, I have been struck with thoughts of my great-grandmother, Delilah- Dolly actually is the name she went by- and what life must have been like for her as a woman/mother/wife during that time. Pretty tough.

By 1920, Dolly had bore 7 of 9 children. She was 32 years old. The family lived on what was then considered the outskirts of Minneapolis in Liberty Heights, not so affectionately referred to as "The Sticks," according to Gramps. They had 4 rooms in that little house - 2 bedrooms, a kitchen & sitting room. The bathroom was an outdoor outhouse or "biffy". There were chickens and a pig in the backyard. Working in construction, her husband, Royce was the sole financial supporter of the family while she stayed home with the children and tended to the house. Voting was a brand new right for women.

This is in great contrast to my own life at age 32 today in 2010. I have not born any children. While I live in Minneapolis less than a mile from where Dolly raised her family & lived out her years, I have no animals in my backyard (aside from a house cat) & I have indoor plumbing. My husband Randy and I share household expenses equally and I hold a full time job. I did not have to fight for the right to vote & have exercised this right since I turned 18.

Oh yes, I think about Dolly a lot and needless to say, this little painting is a priceless and prized possession.

I have grown up admiring it and being told that one day, when I was old enough, it would be mine. When I brought it home yesterday I was elated. I rubbed the frame with lemon oil and polished the glass. I held the painting in my hands and imagined what Dolly felt when she saw it for the first time. She smiled, was happy- probably very touched- and said, "Thank you, Doug, " or maybe even, "Thank you, Dougie." I like to think that she called him Dougie for endearment. I don't know where it hung in her home, only that it hung somewhere from that day in 1939 until my grandpa reclaimed it after her death in 1977.

This Little Painting does not only represent my great-grandmother, Dolly, but also my Gramps, Doug Davis. Gramps had it hanging in his living room until a few years ago when he took it down to make way for an art piece he'd received as a gift. It was then moved to an easel and set among family photos on a dining room hutch. This spring the hutch was dismantled ("too much clutter") and The Little Painting was set aside.

The Little Painting brings me back to rides to piano lessons and theatre classes given by Gramps during which he gave history lessons as well as talked past and present day politics with me. These car rides made me feel wise beyond my years and as I grew older the lessons grew into discussions. Now the conversations we used to have in his little Ford Escort take place a few times a week in the living room of his apartment a mere 3 blocks from my own house and a mile or so from Dolly's, his childhood home, where The Little Painting originally hung for 38 years.

I am not exactly certain where I will hang it, but The Little Painting will be in a place that I pass by everyday. And with that passing, I will always be reminded of my great-grandmother Dolly, my Gramps and the impressive stock that I come from.

xoxx

Vote! (Updated)

2010-11-02T09:02:00.003-05:00

It's a big election day today...be sure to get out there & do your part!

This is my sample ballot for today:

Mark Dayton for MN

√Keith Ellison for US House (5th District)

√Larry Pogemiller for MN Senate (District 59)

√Diane Loeffler for MN House (District 59A)

√Rebecca Otto for State Auditor

√Mark Ritchie for MN Secretary of State

√Lori Swanson for MN Attorney General

T. Williams & √Richard Mammen for Minneapolis School Board (at large)

While she is not in my district, I am also supporting for Tarryl Clark for US House, 6th District. That race is pretty important as she is running against the infamous & jaw droppingly horrible, Michele Bachmann. Sadly, Tarryl Clark lost. It was encouragingly close, but none the less, Minnesota is sentenced to representation by Michele Bachmann for 2 more years.

Get out & Vote!

xoxx

What kind of tea are they drinking?

2010-10-29T19:15:00.003-05:00

Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top, vote on November 2.

xoxx

Boyz II Men!

2010-10-23T13:14:00.004-05:00

Remember this?

Man, I loved this song. It was my freshmen year of high school. I had the casette, Cooleyhighharmoney. Back then I was wearing Girbaud Jeans, Keds, & sported an Esprit Bag to school everyday. Additionally, I'm pretty sure I listened to my Shai & Jodeci records until well after my mother could even sing along. It was the summer after that I discovered 4 Non Blondes & Stone Temple Pilots which led to Juliana Hatfield, Bikini Kill & The Pixies upon which I promptly traded my Girbauds in for thriftstore Wranglers, accompanied by Chuck Taylors & a canvas backpack that was decorated with a sharpie...and well, the rest is history.

xoxx

Catch Up: The Demolition of Slapdash

2010-10-15T10:55:00.010-05:00

This is kind of old news, I know. But I never posted photos or devoted a proper post(s) to the home project that dominated the better part of our summer.

Our house was built in 1950. In 1970 the previous owners added a beautiful dining room addition & renovated the kitchen. Somewhere during the 80's they added what we call The Slapdash Room. We assume The Slapdash Room was originally used for a bedroom for one of the six kids that were raised in our house. It was not the most impressive of rooms, probably more so in it's early years. By the time we came along the carpet was musty, smelly & laid over a concrete slab that was cracking & heaving. The walls were a combination of vinyl siding, 2x4s used as bricks & wood sheeting. There was an entrance/exit to outside (probably pretty sweet for a teenager) & 3 windows that no longer opened.

Initially our plan was to keep the structure as is but replace all the walls with screens & make a screen porch. Then our inspector came through & encouraged us to tear down & start over. We knew if we waited longer than a year it might never happen. So during the winter we started making plans & in May we tore The Slapdash Room down.

9 May, 2010
Randy + his dad, Jim tearing down.

Through the demolition we discovered that The Slapdash Room was originally a covered patio. The previous owners merely built two walls, a sub roof & a sub ceiling with lots of insulation in between. Here is what's left of the aluminum patio roof. Amazing.
All gone! Randy & Gus, our contractor & husband to my cousin, Heather.

A few days later, the concrete people came & made way for the new concrete. A lot of the old concrete pieces were used in our patio.

I must admit that while I knew it would be spectacular when it was finished. When our yard was in this state it did make me feel a little nervous.
More to come!
xoxx

Re Entry

2010-10-12T14:49:00.003-05:00

Randy arrived home this week after a month long tour of the United States. While I am elated to have him back in our house, there is a period after his arrival that we call "Re Entry" & currently we are in the thick of it.

"Re Entry" is a time in which I am adjusting to sharing my space again & he is adjusting to not being on the road. We bicker, we kiss, we bicker more, I roll my eyes often & he sighs. It is a little more intense this time around & I am not sure if it's because it was such a short tour or because I seem to grow sassier everyday (this is another post in itself). Whatever the reason, I am grateful that we talk about it, laugh it off & are comfortable enough to make fun in the company of others.

Wish us luck.

xoxx

Soon Enough.

2010-09-17T01:40:00.003-05:00

Wedding Reception.
Porch.
Garden.
D.C. Trip.
Life.

Reflections on these things will come soon enough, thanks so much for checking back.

xoxx

Celebration of Nuptials.

2010-08-14T23:33:00.001-05:00

Thirty Two

2010-08-04T16:01:00.003-05:00

As I write this I will confess that I am indeed mildly hungover.

I had too much wine last night as I enjoyed our new porch & the fact that I have nothing major to do except to sit, laugh & tell stories alongside my handsome husband and our great next door neighbors.

Oh, and it was my birthday. Thirty Two.

However, a birthday on the heels of an amazing & beautiful wedding reception is really pretty anti-climactic. So we just bummed around all day, hosted National Night Out & then drank entirely too much wine & giggled until about 3am.

What an idealic day, pure bliss.

There is a part of me that feels the need to write a list of some sort to commemorate the new year of my life. A to do list of sorts, or a list of Hopes & Dreams for year 32 of my life. But I start to write it & there are very few things to jot down. This is because at this moment in my life, everything seems absolutely stunningly fine. I live in a fantastic house with an amazing man who I am married to. We both have jobs we enjoy, great friends, and amazing family. I love our life.

And with that, Happy Birthday to me.

xoxx

Weekend of Gratitude.

2010-07-12T00:25:00.009-05:00

•I am grateful for the person(s) who had the thought to recycle the barn whose wood is currently gracing the presence of our backyard.

•I am grateful for T he Reuse Center of Minneapolis who sold me the barnwood and gave me some pretty sweet glass doors too.

•I am grateful for Handsome Randy, my handsome husband, who is always willing to trust my visions, such as barnwood on the walls & ceiling of our soon to be 3 season porch.

•I am grateful for our neighbors to the south for being patient with my late night wood sanding. Sorry if I disturbed you - I was so focused on finishing that I didn't think about it until I was nearly done with the task at hand.

•I am grateful for the motion light on the garage of our neighbors to the north; the moon wasn't quite enough light for me to finish that last coat.

• I am grateful to live in a neighborhood in which I feel safe working on a project in my driveway at midnight with no second thoughts about it.

•I am grateful for my mom from who I inherited the ability to persevere so that I can do anything, like shellack 500 square feet of barnwood by myself over a weekend.

•I am grateful for the my mom again, she not only brought me dinner, she brought me Jung's Chicken Chow Mein for dinner.

•I am grateful for the quite perfect patio table given to us by Tim. Yay!

•I am grateful for my cat, Cyrus, who seems to have come around again after the loss of his companion of 9 years, Asha.

•I am grateful for my neighborhood Taco Bell being open late. The thought of a Cheesarito is really what kept me going during the very last stretch of sanding & shellacking.

•I am grateful to have a house and the resources to build a porch for it.

•I am grateful for the bathtub that I will soon sink into filled with hot water & epson salts. I will soak my aches and pains away while reading and dozing. Can't wait.

xoxx

The Fourth.

2010-07-04T11:51:00.004-05:00

So I've been hemming & hawing all weekend; I was supposed to be in New York this Independance Day as the Husbo is there working and has the actual holiday off. We all know how I love NY and how I love my husband...what a nice combination, right? Wrong. With all the crazy (but amazing) things happening in our lives right now we didn't even think about buying a plane ticket for me until late last week. In 2 hours the ticket went from being affordable and a nonstop flight ($230) to being ridiculous and multiple stops ($410). So I stayed home. Money wise, probably for the best.

My weekend has been quiet and pretty solitary. Yesterday I slept in and ran a few errands but mostly hung out at home piddling about the house, garden and the soon to be new porch. Today was much of the same.

Tonight I rode my bicycle down to the Minneapolis riverfront to watch The Fireworks. This is where I have watched the 4th of July fireworks most of my life. I locked my bike up and found my aunt Jill, Cousin Liam and friend Ellen. We oohed and aaahed at all the sparklies in the sky and all the while I noted how lucky I am to live in a great city with an amazing river (the mighty Mississippi) running through it that these beautiful fireworks were reflected upon on such a lovely evening.

There was a little girl nearby who was thoroughly impressed with every single display. There were lots of "WOW!!!!", "HOLY MOLY!!!" and such. It was nice. Every fireworks display needs that kind of exciting voice nearby reminding you just how exciting it is. What every fireworks display does not need however is a man exclaiming "USA!!" with every boom. This was also present this evening. While I appreciated his enthusiasm, I think next year I will appreciate even more not sitting near him or anyone like him while I oooh & aaah.

It is an ideal summer night in Minneapolis for me. Hot, humid, sticky. There seems to be very little breeze as I sit on our patio writing this...and everyone on my block seems to be in bed. Everything is a little bit damp and the air has a certain smell that can only be found in July and August. As I rode home tonight I heard the hums from air conditioners and people laughing as they wound down their holiday barbecues. I was headed straight home from fireworks after a pit stop at The Soap Factory's Ten Second Film fest. My ride was going too fast. So I turned to ride by a friend's house to see if she was home. She wasn't, so I decided to ride to her favorite watering hole. She wasn't there either. So I rode to my favorite watering hole to have one and found a familiar face bartending and an even more familiar face spinning 45s. What a lucky break.

I left after one beer and entertained myself through my ride home with a game I play every single holiday: "One year ago I was here doing this, two years ago..." and so on. Then I find comfort in the fact that every person I know who lives in The U.S. is likely to have seen fireworks in some capacity this evening, or at the very least talked about them. As I imagined what my friends and comrades all around were up to this evening I found myself at the foot of my garage. The night was coming to a close.

One more Independence Day under my belt & it was a good one.

xoxx

Off to sleep.

2010-06-10T02:12:00.007-05:00

It's a really strange thing to put your cat "to sleep".

A few weeks ago Asha The Cat took a turn for the worse. We brought her to the vet on a Friday morning and Monday afternoon I kissed her little ears goodbye forever. The days in between were spent with teary eyes as I grew used to the idea of saying goodbye.

I was fortunate enough to have a few hours with her at home before I let her go, and I was also fortunate to be there when she left. I rubbed her little ears and whispered how good she was and within seconds she was gone.

I have written this post so many times in the past few weeks, but it never was quite right enough to publish. This is why this page has been stagnant for over a month. It's hard not to write about all the funny characteristics and habits she had. It's hard not to write in detail what those last hours at home with her entailed. But I've written enough, talked enough. The rest is for me to keep close to my heart, a heart that will always skip a beat at the sight of any gray cat in memoriam of sweet, sweet Asha.

When I am in New York...

2010-05-05T00:55:00.007-05:00

In recent years I have developed a certain affinity for New York. I try to get there, in some sort of capacity at least twice per year. It might be my vice. When I am in New York it feels as though anything is possible and this feeling is not duplicated anywhere else and I crave it.

A few weeks ago I went to New York for the weekend to visit my friend, Josh. It's all fresh in my head what about New York is so appealing to me. I was conscious of it all this time & took note.

When I am in New York I am inspired and my mind is moving a million miles per hour with all sorts of ideas of what I could be doing or making or recording & watching. I walk all over leering and jeering. I jump on the subway and watch everyone around me trying to imagine their stories and where they're going and why.

When I am in New York I write down all sorts of lists of things I will do when I get home to Minneapolis: write more, journal more, take more photos, play piano more often....sometimes I follow upon my homecoming, sometimes I don't.

When I am in New York I try to spend at least one day to by myself walking and walking and taking photos and stopping to write here and there. I usually pepper it with dates with old friends. This time I did this while recovering from a weekend of debauchery thus I was a little slower and didn't see as much as I typically do. But I was able to have lunch with my friend, Melissa and see my friend Ted's work and work space for Space Gloves. Yes Space Gloves. Seriously.

When I'm in New York I drink more. I don't think it's because I'm on vacation either. In the middle of the afternoon on a anchored ship on the Hudson or in a piano bar filled with gay men singing show tunes, a drink in hand is supposed to be there.

When I am in New York I make all sorts of new friends. On the subway, at a thrift store, on the street...my most memorable was a few summers ago on the Staten Island Ferry. A life long Jamaica-Queens resident named Vernon & his young granddaughter Davina. We were all in it for the free boat ride. We sat together both ways and had a fantastic time. When we landed back in Manhattan they walked me to my train and hugged me goodbye. He confessed that while he was tempted to exchange contact information to keep in touch he truly felt we would cross paths again. I think of him fondly and kind of look for him every time I'm in New York wondering if our paths will cross again sooner than later.

When I am in New York, I try my hardest to blend in & feel I've succeeded when someone asks me for directions. I feel really accomplished when I can answer and direct them correctly.

When I am in New York I always spend one afternoon in a bookstore. Everyone reads in New York, have you ever noticed this? Everyone and I love that. I find myself picking up books in contemplation to buy that I would never in Minneapolis or anywhere else for that matter.

When I am in New York I feel fashionable. This kind of makes me giggle as New York is filled with people who are switching out their entire wardrobes every season. But just walking down the street whether it's 1st Avenue at 14th or Lenox at 119th I feel very chic and cool...and New York. This is also why I end of with mad blisters. Instead of wearing sneakers I wear Steve Madden flats with no socks and walk miles and miles.

When I am in New York I make a million and one resolutions to myself that someday, yes someday indeed, I will live there. Maybe only for a summer or a winter or a minute, but I will, I will, I will. I am supposed to at some point.

xoxx

So Much.

2010-05-02T01:31:00.006-05:00

These are things I am itching to write about:

New York April 17 - 20
My House/Yard
New Haircut
Random (but very profound) thoughts.

What is keeping me?

Well, this major project I have undergone as of this week: Our impending Patio.
Here it is in it's glory as of this moment:

This is what it will look like, hopefully in about one week.

xoxx

"Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black" by Tim Wise

2010-04-27T10:37:00.004-05:00

This came from the blog Ephphatha Poetry, it's a powerful piece. I urge to read and while doing so really think. I mean for real think. The kind of thinking that will take over your thoughts for a little while after reading.

********

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure - the ones who are driving the action - we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters —the black protesters — spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester — these black protesters with guns — be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a rap artist were to say, in reference to a white president: “He’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said recently about President Obama.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister — who also works for the organization — defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America’s Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough—“living fossils” as he called them—“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.

In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?

To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.

Game Over.

*******

Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. Wise has spoken in 48 states, on over 400 college campuses, and to community groups around the nation. Wise has provided anti-racism training to teachers nationwide, and has trained physicians and medical industry professionals on how to combat racial inequities in health care. His latest book is called Between Barack and a Hard Place. ~Sara and Brian Brandsmeier

*******

xoxx

Capucine.

2010-04-11T01:35:00.004-05:00

This video does 2 things for me:
1. It makes my uterus long for....well, you know.
2. I have begun to seriously consider moving to France to rear my not yet existing children.

xoxx

An Open Apology.

2010-04-08T12:14:00.005-05:00

Recently in conversation with someone I had a recollection. This person & I had been out of touch which was silly because we live a mere 3 miles apart. As we were were pledging to do better I laughed out loud & heard myself say, "I don't think I'll call you-- I don't like talking on the phone." This was news to my consciousness.

There was a time when I would talk on the phone so many hours that my cell phone bill would be sky high every month from going over my minutes. (This was obviously in the early days of cell phones as now there are so many unlimited plans that there is no reason to go over; these days, I think I may go under). I would spend my evenings catching up with friends from college or sometimes I would randomly call someone I hadn't spoken to in a long time, just to reconnect. I talked with my friend Jenny nearly everyday even though we lived thousands of miles apart. Currently I'm pretty sure I owe Jenny a phone call & I'm also pretty sure it's from several weeks ago. Sorry Jenny.

This seems to be the pattern. Someone calls, leaves me a message & I don't respond. I think about it, I make a plan to, but I just never execute it. I guess that the days of 6 hour phone conversations (Junior High) or talking until the sun comes up (falling in love) are probably over for me.

So to Jenny & all the others who I haven't called back, or took several days or weeks to do so, know that it's not you, it's me. It's something I know I need to get better at & while I'm not pledging to do so just yet, I will soon enough.

xoxo

quiet.

2010-04-03T02:46:00.001-05:00

Holy moly have I been quiet.

I guess I have been plotting & dancing.

xoxx

Some Good Shots: Wyatt

2010-03-04T01:11:00.003-06:00

A few more from last Thursday's dinner. After dinner came cake and the little ones were very excited. This is Wyatt who is cousin to Everett & very much enjoyed his cake once it was time to eat it.

xoxx

Some Good Shots: Everett

2010-03-02T12:03:00.002-06:00

Thursday night was lucky to have an unexpected night off of work. I had dinner with my aunt, uncle, two cousins & their families. Everett is a 11 days away from turning two. It was a treat to watch him play by himself with "The Old Woman & The Shoe", a toy that I vividly remember playing with alongside my cousins.

xoxx

It's a Bit Easier Now, Thanks.

2010-02-27T20:10:00.002-06:00

Someone I barely know asked how me how Asha was today and I realized that in the blogosphere I left this bleak and sad thing hanging with no follow up.

For those cat peeps and other animal lovers out there here's an update.

It's gotten a bit easier as she is home. She is not her old self as I was expecting, or maybe just hoping, but I see glimpses of it every once in a while. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that she may not ever be her old self completely.

I have to give her insulin twice a day which is not as difficult as I thought it would be and thanks to advice & tips offered on various websites dedicated to Feline Diabetes I am getting better at it every day.

All in all I am quite lucky. Asha is the best cat I have ever had in my 31 years and until now has had never a reason to go to the vet aside from annual vaccinations. And I am in a place where while it's a slight pinch in my finances to have her medical needs looked after it is not out of the question.

xoxx

This is Hard.

2010-02-23T00:10:00.006-06:00

When I was growing up we always had cats. Always. There was Whitey, Rainbow, Popcorn, Pudding, Pom Pom & Stevie. When I was in my third year of college, along came Asha.

Aaah, Asha. The pretty gray cat from The Pierce County Humane Society in Tacoma, Washington. Originally, Ghosty, she had the sweetest disposition and cutest chirp. Her first night with me she climbed into bed, beneath the cover and laid on her back (with her head on the pillow) between my boyfriend and I. We laughed, but she was serious. And she's been best cat I've had. Ever. She is my 7th of 8 cats (Cyrus came along about a year after Asha when we moved to Minneapolis), and she is the best cat I've ever had. I keep saying this because it's true though a little bit monotonous.

She greets me at the door when I get home, she is everywhere I am whether it's in the bathroom taking a bath (always next to the tub) or in the kitchen doing kitchen stuff (on the sink rug gazing at me). She's the best, the most loyal. Which is why I am at odds this weekend.

A few months ago when I brought Asha & Cyrus in for their annual vaccinations the vet warned me that they were both overweight. Overweight in older cats meant risk for diabetes, especially males. So a diet ensued, and their food intake was cut in half. I joked that no cat of mine would could be diabetic as I wouldn't put up with such high maintenance of a cat.

Huh.

So through out the last week my lady Asha just wasn't herself. A little slower, always hungry, ridiculously thirsty and much more tolerant of Cyrus (she typically gives him a daily ass kicking) than usual. I noted, but was not overly concerned.

Then on Saturday night I arrived home from work and she wasn't at the door to greet me. "Asha, Asha," I called, and soon enough she walked into the kitchen slowly and disheveled. I scooped her up. She was scruffy and not her chirpy self. I brought her into the living room and decided to give her a good brushing. She was happy: purring and licking my hand as I brushed her, and then I got to her hind legs. They hurt. I discovered this because she bit me when I brushed her right hind leg. I turned her over to see if the left was also sore and was given another bite and a little bit of a growl. With her ears back in annoyance, she jumped off my lap and onto our hardwood living room floor sliding on her hind legs in a way which made me feel like it hurt her to land. So I called the University of Minnesota Emergency Vet Clinic.

20 minutes later I loaded Asha into the car and to the U of M we went. The person on the Vet Clinic emergency line warned me of possible kidney failure or heart problems. When I pulled up to the Clinic that night I was prepared to say goodbye to her.

When the vet came into the waiting room after Asha's exam and told me she was Diabetic I laughed outloud. I think the vet was as taken aback by my reaction as much as I was. Cyrus was the one who was going to get Diabetes. He's the male, he's the one who's hungry all the time, he's really over weight.

But no, it's Asha.

Asha the Cat who drove from Tacoma, Washington to Minneapolis, Minnesota in 5 days on the dash of my '88 Subaru Wagon with a leash on.

Asha the Cat who sleeps with me (only when Randy's on tour) until I am ready to wake up.

Asha the Cat who chirps instead of meows and rolls on her back to tell you she loves you.

Asha the Cat who licks my hair to clean me and let me know she's watching out for me.

Asha the Cat who seems to be in tune with my emotions and willing to make all better. Seriously. I mean she licked my pants today as I cried when the vet left the exam room briefly, almost as if to tell me all would be okay. This only made me cry more.

So I stood in the exam room this afternoon, after the vet went over all the possibilities and liklihoods of a living with a diabetic cat, and silently weighed in my mind whether treating her diabetes is for me or for her.

She is a lovely cat. Our school aged nephews can tote her around the house beneath their arms and not only does she tolerate it, but when they set her down she either sits down beside them or slowly walks away. Personally, I would run if any child walked around with me under their arms.

So the initial treatment requires an overnight stay and monitoring and such. I agreed and negotiated a payment plan and kissed her little ears goodbye. Only to lose it as I paid the receptionist my first payment: "Will (dry heave) you (dry heave) put this (dry heave) blazer of mine (dry heave) in her cage? (Sob, sob, sob,) Maybe it will be (dry heave) easier for her (dry heave) if she smells me (sob)."

Oh, I am such a sad little cat lady.

I guess in the end, I did what I needed to. Handsome Randy soothed me tonight as I cried to him via Skype. He reminded me that I should at least give it a shot and see what happens as she is the world's greatest cat. And so I have and we will see.

Asha the Cat: We all wish you well. So well. xxxxoooxx.

xoxo

Finishing Sentences v.II

2010-02-22T02:24:00.003-06:00

So, having all this time to myself, and that is all I have been doing, hanging out at home, one might think that I would be blogging like crazy. Not at all. It seems that I need interactions with the outside world for material & inspiration. But I need a little jump start, so I'm going to recycle this little survey from last summer.

I recorded the first thing that popped into my head upon reading each phrase.

Outside my window
Lots of snow! Our backyard is a giant mound of 3 - 4 foot high snowdrifts.

I am thinking
tomorrow marks the beginning of a new week & I am going to flourish all week long.

I am thankful for
my everlasting optimism. It seems that so much is easier to take when one hopelessly sees the silver lining in everything.

From the kitchen
A very bare pantry and relatively empty fridge. I need to go to the grocer's* tomorrow.
*I've decided to start saying "Grocer's" in place of "Grocery Store", I'm not really sure why. I guess I like the sound of it better.

I am wearing
a vintage pale yellow, tea length night dress with red trim on the sleeves, neckline and at the bottom. I think I picked it up at The Unique Thrift Store a few years back.

I am creating
two blankets for a little girl called Millie and her new sister, Josie.

I am going
to go to bed soon as I have to wake up very early and take Asha The Cat to the veterinarian; she has recently been diagnosed with Feline Diabetes.

I am reading
nothing very good in the novel department. But a lot of great stuff in The New Yorker & The Week.

I am hoping
that Ms. Asha will be back to herself soon and Feline Diabetes isn't as much of a hassle as I fear it to be. Even if it is, my cat of ten years is entirely worth it. She is the best cat I've had in my entire life & I've had my fair share of cats.

I am hearing .
an iTunes genius playlist based from "Be So Happy" by The Heartless Bastards. Just finished "These Are The Fables" by The New Pornographers and onto "Greenville" by Lucinda Williams. Genius is pretty great.

Around the house
it's lovely...even after nearly 6 months that "New House" charm hasn't worn off yet.

One of my favorite things
drinking coffee and journaling first thing in the morning (or afternoon) with NPR providing some background noise.

A few plans for the rest of the week
Movies: The Lovely Bones, Nine, A Serious Man, Sherlock Holmes (The Oscar Race is on)...work, and maybe some a little forage for change in my life.

A picture to share

SNOW! This has quite literally been the winter of great heights. I don't remember the snow being as high as it is in many years...the weather peeps say at least 20. It's remarkable, exciting, and annoying all at once. But it sure makes me proud to be a Minnesotan, as winter usually does.

xoxx

Back to Earth.

2010-02-17T14:19:00.002-06:00

What a crazy thing getting married is.

Amazing, but crazy.

I have finally landed back on planet earth after 2 weeks of floating around on cloud nine, giggling at the introduction of my husband, Randy and his introduction of his wife, Dahli. Our glimmering left ring fingers...it's been really quite lovely.

Other than our titles, rings & change in insurance rates, our lives have not changed very much. This is a great thing, as we were both completely happy with our lives previous to our nuptials.

And so life has gone on.

Handsome Randy has embarked on a tour to Australia and New Zealand for a little less than 3 weeks and I am granted the amazing gift of having our house to myself.

Perhaps all this time to myself will produce many enlightening & inspiring writes on this blog. We will see.

xoxx

winter contrast

2010-02-07T16:03:00.008-06:00

I love the contrast of sleeping leaveless trees against the stark blue winter sky, even more so lately. The contrast is breathtakingly beautiful to me.

I snapped this shot last weekend as I took some wintertime portraits of my Uncle Chris, Aunt Kathy & Shadow the German Shepherd. We were at this location for the cityscape view. I love the blue hues in this and the contrast of the trees framing one side of the cityscape & my uncle, in his suspenders and plaid flannel framing the other.

See a this photo in larger form here.

xoxx

married.

2010-02-02T23:11:00.001-06:00

A few months ago, Randy & I were talking about, well I don't remember what we were talking about, but as we were talking it occurred to me that I should tell him something. So I did.

"Just so you know, I am ready to get married whenever you are."

He stared at me with what I think was curiosity (he may beg to differ), and I went on to articulate exactly what I meant and how I hoped we could go about doing things, when he too was ready, of course.

And so the ball started to roll. We talked often about our impending nuptials, marriage, being married, being a spouse and we talked about our hypothetical wedding. Somehow we seemed to agree on almost everything pertinent to the matter at hand.

And then he was ready. Just like that. As simply as had I told him the month before, he said to me one night, "I'm ready, we should figure all of this out soon."

And the plotting began.

Yesterday morning I woke up and sat at our dining room table listening to the day begin with such intensity. It was snowing outside. My favorite kind of snow, light & fluffy but full bodied flakes. This was the kind of snow that enticed my grandmother to love snowy days. And so on my wedding day, this kind of snow falling down calmed me a little bit & I took it as a little sign that grandma Bette was smiling on me & wishing me a lovely, perfect day.

And I did have a perfect day. I was a little anxious, of course so I kept myself busy with Lunch with one of my oldest friends (Natalie) and the most incredible massage ever at Spot Spa. I gussied myself up a little bit & then drank tea at a coffee house & looked over my vows and reflected on this crazy, new chapter I was about to open. I arrived home with enough tim to giggle with Randy before our small wedding cast arrived.

Randy's witness, Steve, an old friend, arrived first. Then came Dave, our friend & Wedding Officiant. Next it was Annie, my witness and friend since age six. Our friends Skye & Sarah arrived with camera equipment in tow. Soon it was time to dial up The Dads on Skype in Kansas City & Oaxaca, Mexico. Now we only had to wait for The Moms to arrive. They are the most exiting part in this because they had no idea.

Our moms thought they were coming over for a look at our bathroom and to offer advice before a dinner reservation. When each arrived we told them. We cried a lot and hugged each other tightly.

Our ceremony was short and took place in our dining room in front of our fireplace. When Dave started the ceremony I remember reaching into my pockets & squeezing my hands open & closed a few times to make sure it was really happening. I could hardly believe it.

Randy's vows made me cry, I think mine watered him up a little bit too. Everyone applauded when we were announced as married, we corked a bottle of champagne, signed the license and had a few photos taken.

Dinner was amazing. It was just us and The Moms. We were treated like royalty and there were all sorts of crazy presents waiting for us at the table...wine, champagne, Peonies...it was lovely.

A wedding more perfect couldn't have been imagined. I am so lucky and in love with such a great man. And with that, I am confident we have many years of wedded bliss ahead.

xoxx

Meeting Floyd

2010-01-29T12:46:00.005-06:00

This week my friend, Evan needed a ride to see his new puppy, Floyd. Floyd is a chocolate standard poodle who is just about 3 weeks old. He is somewhere in the huddle above. Handsome Randy fretted that I would come home with a puppy in hand, while this was tempting, I abstained & snapped away at Evan, Floyd, the litter mates and mama poodle Dandelion and papa poodle Turbo. I took this one just as we were leaving & was happily surprised with the colors & composition.

xoxx

Winter Entertainment

2010-01-16T14:51:00.006-06:00

We are all getting a little bit stir crazy as this winter has been impressively cold so far. When the first snow fell in mid December, I opened the door for the cats to go out as usual in the morning. It was a cold morning and I hadn't ever let them out in snow before. Asha, the braver of the two ran out as fast she could only to run right back in even faster. She hasn't mewed at the door since.

The last couple of days have brought us warm winter weather. Yesterday it reached a nice, balmy 30. We are in winter heaven. Today I opened the door for the cats to go out for the first time in over a month. They both came trotting along quite happily stopping dead in their tracks about a foot before the door. There is no path beyond the door, only a big snow drift from shoveling the walk. In unison, they crept up to it slowly and looked out sniffing the air with anticipation of what was out there.

Neither ever ventured into the snow, they only stood there and sniffed, almost falling over each other, for about five minutes. When I finally shut the door (we are not interested in heating the backyard after all) they ran about the house with the kind of energy burst that only comes from being outside (or sniffing the outdoorsy air). Darting in and out of rooms, leaping high over obstacles. If cats could laugh, ours would have been giggling incessantly.

And this, my non Minnesotan friends, is how we get through the winter. We entertain ourselves with stories of high snow drifts, cats who are afraid of it, and the excitement of a 30 degree day in January. All of which are incredibly amazing things, especially if you haven't been able to go outside comfortably in a month.

xoxx

2010: Year of Gratitude

2010-01-15T15:13:00.008-06:00

My college chum, Jenny is doing a Year of Gratitude on her blog. Another college chum, Camille, has followed suit. I love this and feel it is important, especially in the wake of what seems to be so much madness going on. My aforementioned lady friends are dedicating their entire blogs to the cause in the coming year, this is not my plan...once a week or so, I think. I encourage you to also incorporate this reflection into your own routine whether it be in your blog, journal, or daily conversations.

I am grateful to have made it to 2010 and feeling good to boot! I have so much hope for what is in store for me in the coming months, I cannot wait to see how it unfolds and look forward to writing about it as it does. My partner, our house, my family and friends, my job, my health...even my cats. I look around at all that I am a part of and grin, I am so very lucky. As my excitement grows, I keep in mind those who are struggling and perhaps already looking ahead to 2011 for relief. Luck in life ebbs & flows. I am currently flowing with luck and feel very grateful for it.

xoxx

Haiti In My Heart.

2010-01-13T12:44:00.003-06:00

Seeing footage of Port Au Prince on the news last night brought shivers through my spine. I want to do something...anything. From my snowdrifted house in Minneapolis, Minnesota I feel that all I can do is give money. So I do.

Currently I am listening to BBC radio coverage and my heart is bleeding. The hospitals are at capacity and no longer able to admit patients, night sounds are littered with people crying for help, there is little opportunity for help to come in...

Dooce directed me to Chris Sacca's blog which lists additional ways we can all help. Go there read it, and above all, just keep Haiti & her people nestled close to your heart for a while.

xoxx

**January 14 Update.
A super dooper easy way to help out is to text "Haiti" to 90999 & a $10 donation will be added to your phone bill.

Bravo! to The French

2010-01-10T07:58:00.000-06:00

Please let this be the start of a world wide trend.

xoxx

Bright Light

2010-01-05T23:20:00.008-06:00

As humans, we are constantly meeting new people. Some are memorable and some are not. Some stay in our lives, others criss cross paths with us from time to time, and some we never see again.

In first grade I went to North Star Community School in Minneapolis. About one third of my first grade class went on to the Intermediate elementary school, Junior High & High School together. It's a funny thing to be educated in the largest school district in the state of Minnesota and have such an intimate community of classmates.

Of this group of classmates most are my friends on Facebook. We criss cross through each other's lives on the internet, chiming in on photo postings of children, new houses and vacations. We offer support to one another through wall posts & reactions to FB status. Sometimes I laugh at this, but mostly I am grateful to be in some sort of contact with people who I care for very much but likely wouldn't ever see with the exception of class reunions.

This weekend I logged into to Facebook and read that a member of this group of classmates them had been killed the night before.

"What?!"

I read on and sadly, it was true.

Dontae Johnson was a kid who had the most infectious personality and smile. He was kindhearted and as a classmate, was someone you felt lucky to have an assigned seat next to. As we grew older and became our own people, Dontae never stopped saying hello or asking how things were - and he really wanted to know. That's just the way Dontae Johnson was and always with a smile.

I think the last time I saw Dontae was at my High School ten year reunion, and before that, well it had probably been about ten years. I was excited to have recently encountered him on Facebook and excitedly looked over the photos he posted of his life: adorable kids, beautiful wife and still sporting that amazing smile. We had criss crossed each other's lives again. It was nice.

It is surreal to be writing this and I have been wrestling with the idea of writing something about this for a few days. He wasn't my best friend, or a friend I spoke with on a regular basis. But he was a friend and he had this uncanny ability to make every person he said hello to or even flashed his famous smile to feel like they were quite remarkable.

I am a crier. I cry so many times everyday thinking about this tragedy. Mostly I think about his children and his wife, his parents & siblings, the immeasurable loss they are suffering and the time they have ahead. Facebook is flooded with comments of grief, photographs & words of comfort to his family. The passing of this life was too soon and seems unfair.

And again, I cry.

There are so many crying for Dontae and his family right now. He was such a bright shining star with so much light left. I am heartbroken that he has gone. Dontae Johnson touched so many with his light and smile, even though we can't see him, he will continue to shine down light and smiles to all of us forever.

xoxx

coming to a mailbox near you...

2009-12-31T02:50:00.003-06:00

oh the trials & tribulaltions of putting together a holiday card. Christmas or New Year? Photo or not? By the skin of our teeth we went with New Year and a photo in a very chilly Minnesota vein. It turned out well, if I do say so myself.

Happy New Year to You!

xoxx

Giving Dignity & Respect

2009-12-15T12:32:00.012-06:00

I once was on a first date with someone who I was so excited to be out with. We were having a fabulous time when a panhandler encountered us & asked for money. My date swore at the person and sauntered away, I apologized for my date and gave the panhandler some money. The remainder of the night was pregnant with many things unsaid & we never called each other after that.

Typically I don't give money to anyone on the street unless they are playing an instrument. But I always look them in the eye & say, I'm sorry I can't today. Every person deserves acknowledgment, respect & eye contact. I can't imagine hitting a point in my life where I am so broke & desperate that I have to resort to asking strangers on the street for money. No one wants to be in that position and no one should. The way a person interacts with a homeless person says a lot about their character. The majority of Minnesotans in Minneapolis are kind and respectful, some of course, are not. This makes my heart hurt.

This article was published in our local Minneapolis Star & Tribune on Sunday. Columnist Jon Tevlin recognizes John Petroskas, an employee of Catholic Charities who works closely with the Minneapolis Homeless Population doing outreach. This column is one that reminds us that the homeless are not just nameless faces. They are individuals with stories whose lives deserve to be celebrated as much as yours and mine.

xoxx

The Absentee Blogger.

2009-12-10T13:23:00.006-06:00

I find it funny that I feel guilty when I haven't blogged in a bit. And this time it has been a bit. Ten days to be exact and that was only a video post. I feel guilty for myself more than anyone else.

I have this grand vision that every morning I'll wake up early and sit at the dining room table drinking coffee and blogging. I would do a morning post everyday & a night post 3 times a week. It hasn't happened yet & I don't know if it ever will, but every night when I fall asleep I think to myself, "Tomorrow morning I'll wake up early to blog."

I am not a morning person, although I do think it must be nice to be one. Waking up early with the entire day ahead of you. I am a night person, I wake up late with only half the day left.

Much to my chagrin, I have always loved staying up late. When Handsome Randy is in town our regular bedtime is 3:30, not because we're just home from the bar & full of drinks, but because we just stay up late.

At one time we would stay up late and I would blog. Then it changed to staying up late and settling in the new house. Well, the house is all settled but I took a knitting class and now it's that we stay up late and I knit. I do think about blog posts while I knit, but then I need to change yarn, start a new row, or find a lost stitch...what about my blog again?

So at last dear readers, please bear with me. I will find a writing routine again soon enough. The new house is all settled and I am 2/3 done with the hat that I am knitting. Maybe, just maybe tomorrow morning will be the one that gets me out of bed early to blog.

xoxx

You've Probably Already Seen This.

2009-12-01T11:40:00.002-06:00

But I am a real sucker for cats, especially baby ones. Enjoy.

xoxx

Giving Thanks and...

2009-11-27T01:27:00.009-06:00

A great day was had today as we ate turkey & such while gathered with relatives around a few different tables in good old Northeast Minneapolis. I am not sure if our new house being in such close proximity to both Thanksgiving destinations has something to do with this or if we've just gotten it together finally, but this was the first year in which it did not feel like a giant production to get out the door.

We woke up, gussied ourselves up & headed out with cheeseball in hand arriving at our first of two destinations around noon. The day was lovely. So much laughter, the best food ever, and of course a family walk around the block. Additionally there was a light wand show, a clarinet & flute duo, a very complex Christmas gift drawing of names, & a heated discussion or two...or three.

I still can't believe that today was Thanksgiving. It feels too early, or perhaps I'm just not quite ready to deal with the hassles of the month of December.

xoxx

He Made It.

2009-11-20T17:00:00.002-06:00

In the period of time Handsome Randy & I have been together I have developed a few rituals to keep me sane upon his tour arrival & departures. Mainly this involves cleaning & food. On both occasions, I clean our house top to bottom and go to grocery store and splurge on things I typically don't such as Fruity Pebbles & Jell-O Pudding.

This morning at a little bit past 8am he phoned to let me know he was outside. I had only gone to bed an hour before as I spent the night cleaning. It was not all that grueling, I kept getting distracted by things on television such as General Hospital, Law & Order, & Roseanne. This arrival home had a little more weight to it than usual. He left on tour a mere 2 weeks after we purchased our house. I had an incessant need for everything to be perfect. Thus the night was not only spent cleaning, but hanging pictures and finally putting those boxes away in the laundry room.

And he's home. We both can't stop smiling at each other & I can't wait to share a whiskey tonight before we retire to our treehouse bedroom.

xoxx

Breast Health. A Rant.

2009-11-17T09:57:00.007-06:00

It's hard to believe it's as late in the year as it is, but then it makes complete sense. I wrote this post a few days ago when the new "recommendations" for breast cancer screening were released. I was pretty mad. My intention was to let it sit for a day & then revise to publish. Unfortunately I had a technical difficulty with my computer & couldn't get online until today. So here it is, no revisions, just the way I felt Tuesday morning. This was so hard to just leave...but I felt it was important to post my initial reaction. 11.20.09

Whenever I hear memorable news, good & bad, I always remember where I was & what I was looking at. Yesterday I was driving down the hill that our house sits on top of when I heard the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force is recommending against regular mammagrams for women beginning at age 40 as well as regular self breast exams. According to the Task Force, too much anxiety is caused by false positives and biopsies. Well how nice of the to protect us, but what about the 15% of women whose lives were saved because of regular mammagrams?

I was bewildered. I arrived at my destination & just kind of sat in the car for a second to hear more. This goes against everything we are taught for women's health. When my own breasts came to be during adolescance it was drilled into my conscience to give myself an exam once a month. In college I was given a plastic SBE guide to hang on the shower head, I had it until we moved 2 months ago. Every fall at my yearly exam there are about 5 minutes dedicated to breast health. Now it's all awash for fear that I may be caused unnecessary anxiety? Seriously?

There is something about this that does not seem quite right. And I feel a little bit sad that I don't trust that the best interest of women is what is being thought of here. It reminds me of the period of time when many women were diagnosed with Hysteria. What I really think is that this is a way to cut medical expenses at the cost of women's lives.

xoxx

15 Bags of Leaves.

2009-11-11T23:10:00.001-06:00

I felt triumphed when I counted 15 bags. Then I went to work & heard stories of yards that produced 30 bags of leaves or in one case over 90. What amazed me about my first raking experience on Fillmore Street is that I truly enjoyed it & had a sense of pride over it all. Sort of like when one finishes painting a room; it's a nice change that was accomplished by your own hands.

And since I'm writing about the yard & house...there is this walkway next to our garage that I didn't know existed until a week or two after we moved in. I love it. I don't really know why, I suppose it's just one of those things, an added bonus, if you will. I think it's such a pretty spot. If I were about 25 years younger I'd be plotting to build a fort here.

xoxx

THe Uptown Bar

2009-11-01T18:25:00.004-06:00

I went to the Uptown Bar a few nights ago for what will be the last show I ever will see there. The stage has graced the likes of The Replacements, Soul Asylum & even Nirvana in their very early years. I felt like I was 23 all over again. I stood in the way front and danced feeling the wind of the PA vibrations on my face. The lights were vibrant to me and everyone seemed to be on fire from the music.

Everything around The Uptown Bar has been slowly changing to the antithesis of what the neighborhood once was. The bar offers glimpse of what Uptown, Minneapolis used to be. Soon it will all be extinct as The Uptown Bar is closing & being bulldozed to make room for a North Face store expansion & a new shop - maybe a J. Crew or Pottery Barn.

xoxx

A Great New Time Waster.

2009-10-22T04:44:00.002-05:00

http://www.modwallsblender.com/blender.html

You will spend hours here.

So a little back story. Every part of our new house is just what we would want except the bathroom. In the coming year we are hoping to remodel the bathroom. I am currently torn between mosaic tile & pebble tile. I stumbled upon this site tonight & spent far too long.

xoxx

A Shift

2009-10-11T02:23:00.004-05:00

Handsome Randy is currently on the road and will be for a while. I spend so much time at our new house just being and puttering and glowing and feeling old (in a very good way).

This coming weekend my dad & stepmom are coming to Minneapolis for a wedding & they're staying with me. I think this officially seals my fate as an adult. I now live in a house that my parents feel comfortable and excited to stay in and I am comfortable and excited for them to do so.

Many aspects of Homeownership seem to Adultate me. When my Uncle Chris is over helping with random things like installing new stairs outside (today) or fixing the lock on our garage (Monday) and he asks me for a tool and not only do we have it (thanks in large part to him) but there is a convenient place for it & it's there.

I am consumed with gardening. I have planted so many perennials in the past few weeks and I still have more in my garage & at my mom's waiting for me. Listen to me, I am trading perennials with my mom.

There also seems to be coffee on all the time since we acquired our new residence. For me this is also synonymous with adulthood. So whenever anyone stops by to visit (or install a small staircase) it's ready to serve. My grandparents seemed to always have coffee on, and this house seems to bring out a lot of my grandma that's in me; I keep a sheet covering the sofa at all times (except when company's over) so it won't get dirty.

I'm not complaining. I love this shift, in fact I am reveling in it.

xoxx

Good Thing.

2009-10-06T13:56:00.002-05:00

Late last spring a little rattling noise started somewhere in the hood of our car. We commented on it to each other, talked about bringing the car into our mechanic, but never did anything about it. About three weeks later we were driving on the freeway & our car just stopped. When our mechanic looked at the car the first thing he asked was if we had heard any strange rattlings or noticed any burning smells. When we admitted to the rattling he told us that if we would have brought it in right then our repair would have been $300 tops. But we didn't, so our repair bill was nearly $3k. Yes, $3k. We kicked ourselves for a while after that.

With that experience you can imagine the dread I felt early last week when a rattle started to sound every time I pulled into 4th gear. I put off bringing the car in for about a week, but it nagged at me. I called our mechanic's garage where the person who answered the phone informed they were "really busy and I could bring it in but it would probably just sit until Thursday." Well, that doesn't sound helpful. So I just continued to drive it and wince with every rattle I heard while trying to discern if the rattle was getting worse or staying the same. Meanwhile, Randy is frequently asking how the rattle is and when I am going to bring the car in. My ears were ringing.

Yesterday I drove by our mechanic's garage on the way to run some errands & noted that there were very few cars in the lot. On the way back I impulsively stopped. I took one of the technicians for a drive and after hearing the rattle he was certain he knew what it was. We got back to the garage & he said to me, "Good thing you brought this in now or it could have been really expensive later,"

xoxx

Glimpse

2009-10-02T23:48:00.002-05:00

There is a glimpse of normalcy in my life once again.

Tonight the job that I have been looking forward to for so very long finally began. Truly. My last shift at the old job happened two weeks ago & since then I have been training at the new one. But, tonight all the gloves were off & it all came to be. So sweet! It is going to be a spectacular place to work & I am so excited I can hardly contain myself.

Also: the limbo is over, sort of. All of our belongings are finally in one place, the old apartment is gleaming clean and this morning I went to our old apartment and dropped off the keys. Phew! This is such a relief! Unfortunately the relief completely dissapates when I walk into our slapdash room (Real Estate Speak, "Bonus Room") and see that it is jam packed with our belongings that we are unsure of what to do with.

But I see it..I can almost taste it. Just being. No boxes to unpack or studying to be done or carpets to shampoo. All I will need to do is be.

xoxx

The House Pre Us

2009-09-24T00:54:00.004-05:00

So as I've been tearing down wallpaper, changing out doorknobs & pulling down paneling I haven't been able to help but imagine the lives that were once led in this old house of ours.

Built in 1950, the house was essentially in the same family until us. The daughter of the people who built it bought it along side her husband in 1967. For 42 years they held the title to this house & raised 6 children.

As I enjoy my morning coffee in a very quiet dining room, I imagine those six kids bustling about getting ready for school as their mother chases them to hurry in the morning.

As I tore down the bathroom wallpaper I thought about the person who picked it out, loved it & was excited for it to be completed. I imagined it to be the mother whose name was Joanne. I see her applying the wallpaper during the day when she had the entire house to herself and proud of her work. I also think about how excited she must have been so many years earlier when they gutted the kitchen and added the dining room. The kitchen is state of the art 1971: double oven, countertop range & a dishwasher all in sleek almond. Oh, and all the walls are wood paneling. Groovy.

Sometimes I think about the kids, like when I was painting one of the bedrooms as found traces of pink paint everywhere. I envisioned one of the daughters excited to have her own room to decorate as she wished (which included a super sweet wall of mirrored tiles) and to give her privacy.

Other times I think about Dwaine, the dad & husband. The six hooks that are painstakingly placed at each entrance as well as the 6 outlet power cord that is hardwired into the bathroom wall. And then there's the GIANT garage that has all sorts of intriguing shelves, hooks and capped off outlets.

I grew up in one house, a house which my mother still lives in. The houses each of my parents grew up in are mere blocks away from our house and relatives still live in both of them. I get it, the vibe of the house, and it seems that we are in sync with it.

xoxx

New Doornobs.

2009-09-19T16:38:00.002-05:00

So. Here I type with fingers greasy from replacing door nobs through out our house. What a difference the littlest things make. New doornobs & light switch/outlet plates really freshen things up.

I love our house.

xoxx

Checkin' Back.

2009-09-14T02:27:00.002-05:00

Hello. I missed you. Sorry to have been so quiet for far too long. But, you know, we drove home from Santa Fe, packed up, bought a house, painted many of the rooms and tore up all the carpet...then we moved in.
And, we finally got wireless internet a few moments ago. We've had plain old internet for about a week but I am far too distracted by our new house (and a little lazy) to hook up to a cord.
I am so tired and so sore and achy...but I can't seem to want to go to bed at a decent hour or sleep for a decent amount of time. There is so much to do and unpack and arrange and settle in and...well, you get it. I have lots of excitement.
This week I will share it all with you. Thanks for checking back & reading; I so appreciate it.
xoxx

Pure Cowboy Boot Bliss

2009-08-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

Today we spent the day in Santa Fe, New Mexico. We slept in and ate homemade carnitas & tamales from a street vendor in the plaza for breakfast. HR had a little bit of work to do after so I wandered the streets of the old city to do some window shopping. I stumbled upon a pretty sizable vintage store and was easily caught up in a dozen or so old cowboy boots in a dusty corner. They were all nicely priced but none were the right size. I meandered some more and followed a sign to the "Western/Ranch" section. I rounded the corner & this is what I saw:

I was in awe; I love cowboy boots. I have a plethora of pairs and wear them with almost everything and as much as possible. There was nothing I could remotely justify buying as we are 6 days from purchasing our house & all the boots were $300 - $1000, but I was in heaven to say the least. Just to be in a room with hundreds of vintage cowboy boots was an experience in itself. They were amazing to look, touch, and in sometimes imagine how fantastic it would be to wear certain pairs out on the town. If we were already in the house I would have taken out my visa in a flash & purchased the green & yellow pair in the top photo without second thought.

Later on as HR & I walked through a shopping complex to escape from the rain, we encountered yet another store filled with boots. These were all brand new and boots were priced $1000+ on average. In this store there was an incredible pair of black boots with colorful peacock feathers stitched down the sides and over the toe. I didn't take a photo unfortunately, but I did realize something from those boots.

Today I acquired a new appreciation for Cowboy Boots as an art form. There are so many designs, colors, stitching, heel styles and such that variance of Cowboy Boots out there is spectacular. They are a canvas and an amazing canvas at that.

Next time I'm in Santa Fe I vow to leave with a new & amazingly beautiful pair of cowboy boots on my feet.

xoxx

Road Trip.

2009-08-25T11:56:00.002-05:00

Los Angeles to Minneapolis via the beautiful Southwest. Yesterday we pulled out of Needles, California around 11am stopped in Flagstaff, Arizona for coffee and a walk around 3ish, and ended our day in Santa Fe, New Mexico around midnight. Along the way we drooled a the amazing scenery, laughed at each other while playing very intense and competitive versions of The Roadtrip Alphabet and sang old country songs acapella and a few by Queen and The Who too. More to come.
xoxx

weird dreams & ramblings

2009-08-13T11:29:00.003-05:00

Promises of a return? I guess they were somewhat empty. Bear with me as I try to make good on them.

And, please do note that every night as I fall asleep I think about this blog & come up with phenomenal posts, it's just that by the time morning comes they are all blurry & not nearly as profound as they were while I drifted off to sleep.

There once was a day when I felt really, truly proud of my multitasking abilities. I could make a dinner while sending an email while watering the flowers while kissing my handsome man. Now? Well it seems the very thought of packing up our house takes up all the energy I have let alone actually doing it & going on with my daily life as usual. I can't decide if it's the move that's overwhelming or the new chapter in our life the move represents. Or maybe, just maybe I am lazy. Probably a little of all three.

Yesterday morning as I was waking up I had a crazy dream. I was on the shores of Lake Superior (which were much like the shore of Hawaii), it was filled with tourists in bathing suits. It was me, Randy, a friend of ours & her young son. The little boy and I went off to swim in a pool. We swam underwater but could never seem to get to the top to catch our breath. We realized there had been a tsunami while we were underwater. We finally made it to the top to catch our breath, found our way out of the water and back to Randy and our friend who were safe. We all embraced. Then Randy decided to go for a swim in the water to see what he could find. I begged him not to, but he insisted only to return a few minutes later with a new pair of Spandex biking shorts that he found floating amongst the debris. This was exciting as he has been lamenting over his need to new biking shorts for months.

I don't know what this means or if it's even relevant, but the story & images have stuck with me.

Thanks for reading, wish me luck and energy for packing & have a fantastic day.

xoxx

return.

2009-08-07T15:26:00.004-05:00

Someday soon I will again write a thoughtful & meaningful post. I will, I will, I will. Maybe even later tonight. But in the meantime, here is a photo for your enjoyment.

This is from my trip to Paris in February, it takes place in le Louvre in the same gallery The Mona Lisa is displayed in. I have a small collection of photographs I have taken of people taking photographs of others. There is a hilarity to it for me that I cannot even begin to articulate.

xoxx

The Golden Rule.

2009-07-28T23:13:00.005-05:00

I have so much to write but not nearly enough time to do so or articulate or edit properly. Our internet is currently out of order so I have been sipping my coffee very slowly at the neighborhood coffee shop & e mailing from my phone. This is no fun. Nope, no fun at all.

Through this it has been confirmed once again that I am indeed at my best in the very wee hours of the morning. Too bad Perkins doesn't have wifi. At least I don't think they do.

In the last week my blood has reached a boiling point a few times. Quite literally; my hands, arms and cheeks feel really hot as though the blood beneath is truly boiling. I really dislike this feeling (though it is kind of fascinating) thus I have spent a lot of time thinking about what exactly triggers this.

When you take away all the specific details and leave just the skeleton, what is left is the Golden Rule. I have no tolerance for people treating me or others in ways that I would never ever consider treating anyone.

When it's all stripped down it's so simple, right? You would think.

For example, when someone approaches you on the street & asks you for some change, be respectful. Anyone who has come to a place where they need to ask strangers for change in order to survive deserves respect as much as you or me or Barack Obama for that matter. This doesn't mean you have to give them what they want if you are not comfortable or able, it only means that you should acknowledge them and kindly say, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you," or "Sure, here you go," or however you would like to respectfully portray such message. There is no reason to shout "Get a job!" (especially in this economy) or act as though they do not exist. I feel as though these reactions only perpetuate what's going on with this person and class issues as a whole. How would you like to be treated if you were in their situation?

Another example. Racist jokes are not funny. Ever. Even if you have a friend who is of the race you are telling a joke about. This goes for jokes about different creeds and orientations as well. Much like the previous example this only perpetuates stereotypes that are really not positive or helpful in building a strong community of tolerance and understanding

And I could list so many more. But the coffeeshop is about to close & I think I hear the wood starting to give way on this soapbox I've been standing on.

xoxx

Unnecessary Nostalgia (The First of Many, I'm sure)

2009-07-26T15:05:00.005-05:00

Here is our new house . It's perched on the very top of the highest hill in city that us Nordeasters call Norwegian Hill. I'm purposely not posting photos of the inside because I have to leave some suspense, right?

We close on a Tuesday & every week when Tuesday comes I think "__ more weeks, that'll go fast!" and then I look back to what I was doing that many weeks ago and realize that it will indeed come quickly. I love summer so much, but this summer I am looking forward to it's end because then we get to move!

But it's funny how nostalgic one gets when on the brink of change. This morning I walked to the diner near our house to have breakfast. When I walked in the door it was packed (par for the course on a Sunday morning) and I thought to myself, "This is such a nice neighborhood place, I will really miss it," I ordered my food feeling very melancholic and thought about how many times I've had eggs, toast & coffee there. I breathed a long sigh and felt very amused with myself.

The truth is, the diner is handy, but the service is awful (they pride themselves on that) and the food is really just okay, and I think it's a feat in itself for a breakfast spot to have eggs and toast that are just okay. The nostalgia is unnecessary; I am certain we will have no trouble finding another breakfast spot in our new neighborhood and we will be probably enjoy that one much more and if we don't, well it's only a 10 minute drive back to our old neighborhood.

xoxxx

Getting in Focus.

2009-07-23T10:13:00.007-05:00

Today is Thursday yet it seems like maybe it should be Tuesday. The last few days have been a blur as I have been so sick with some stupid virus that for two whole days left me sleeping in our bed or on the bathroom floor because it required me to be in there so often. Yes, it was that kind of virus. Good times.

And now I am left thirsty (a little dehydrated yet), hungry (a little skiddish to eat my regular stuff) and trying to get that blur into a focused picture. Handsome Randy is leaving today for a month long tour. The last few days of his homestay were not spent in the usual nor ideal ways. I was cranky, critical & crabby which probably made it quite hard to want buy me much needed Gatorade. But he smiled, kissed my forehead, took me to the doctor and brought me Gatorade and bananas despite his very real work deadlines and crabby ladyfriend.

Yesterday when I came to and it hit me that he was leaving in less than 24 hours I wanted to cry. Actually I did cry for a good solid minute and I felt such dispair for having been so out of it and so sick and so crabby that I think it made me feel worse rather than better.

But this happens everytime I am sick. When I come out of it it's almost as if I mourn the time I've lost from being ill. Everything feels out of whack as I haven't been to work, the house is a mess and I never once watered my plants. The feeling of neglect toward my life is overhwhelming. So I do what comes best to me, I cry. Then I wipe my nose, water my plants and slowly put my routine back in motion. It all gets better that way.

While HR was home we definitely accomplished our mission and bought a house, one we both love and can hardly wait to make our own. I, gleefully, have been granted full license to choose colors and what we do with our extra bedrooms as he is just happy to have a "comfy house". In the midst of my virus, we had our house inspected. While it is all kind of a blur to me, it was nice to just be there for two hours. We sat around talking and it was so comfortable and filled with nice energy. Fillmore Street will be a great place for us. We can hardly wait.

So here's to being virus free, lucky enough to have a partner who is not only Handsome but very patient and forgiving of his sick lady and to our upcoming and very happy home.

xoxx

We Did It!

2009-07-16T13:46:00.002-05:00

We found a house, put in an offer, haggled & then settled it.

Pictures to follow.

It's so hard to believe. But I am really looking forward to sleeping again as I don't think I've slept very well in the last 2 weeks as I've been so anxious.

We close in early September.

Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

xoxx

Read This Book.

2009-07-13T03:29:00.004-05:00

I read it cover to cover in a little over 2 hours. It's spectacular.

Buy it here, read it & then tell me what you think. I really want to talk about this book with someone.

xoxx

If you'd like to learn more about the author, Kerry Cohen, go here.

The Secret is Out

2009-07-11T01:24:00.007-05:00

Okay, okay. So the big secret that I intermittently elude to from time to time is that we are hoping to buy a freaking house in the very near future.

It's not really a secret, I guess, and it certainly doesn't need to be. It's just that sometimes I feel that when I really really really really want something to happen it's best not to talk about it but rather to just keep it close to me. I am finally learning in my thirties that this might not be the best route.

So let me dish to you, and forgive me if you know the gory details already.

This winter, Handsome Randy & I decided it was time to purchase a house. We feverishly looked through out February & March kind of racing against the clock as he was leaving on a tour in early April. Our hope was to have a house picked out by the time he departed with a closing date scheduled for when he arrived home again.

The weekend before he left we put an offer in on a lovely old house in the neighborhood I grew up in. But it was a short sale, which despite what the Wikipedia link I provided says and the name implies, they are really not all that short. In fact it seems they are very long. Very, very long.

It has been 3 months and counting. We still have no idea if we submitted the best offer (there were many others) and if we did, we have no indication of when it would all be resolved and the house would be ours. We could find out tomorrow (unlikely) or next year (probable).

This long wait, in addition to new weirdo neighbors below, HR's impending travels & a lame-o landlord have me ready to move right now. So ready in fact, that sometimes at night I fall asleep coming up with strategies for packing up our house when it comes time to do so. I will relish the moment I can legitimately look for boxes, let alone actually put things in one.

So. HR arrives home from on Sunday and beginning Monday we will be back on the lookout for the ideal abode. Keep your fingers crossed; we only have one week before he has to depart on another expedition.

So there. I put it out there for all the universe to see. Perhaps something will come of this. I, of course, will keep you posted.

xoxx

Random.

2009-07-05T23:24:00.002-05:00

This e mail showed up in my gmailbox today with the subject "Isaac's Barmitzvah":

Hi.

The reason I'm writing: I need your street mailing address so we can mail you an invitation for Isaac's party next month.

Please email me your address.

Thank you very much!

-Isaac's Dad (David)

I don't know an Isaac who is of an age to have a barmitzvah, actually I only know 2 Isaacs & neither would be having such a party.

I am thoroughly amused and a little bewildered. And no, I am not sending Isaac's dad my address.

xoxx

Spinning in Circles.

2009-06-30T00:48:00.006-05:00

Remember Wyatt? He is now 19 months. We bonded this weekend over somersaults, floor rolling and spinning in circles (pictured). Such good times.

It is always a great thing when you finally bond with a kid who's in your life significantly but you don't see them that often and their just too little to really remember you.

Me & Wyatt, I think we've made the final connection and I can't wait for more somersaults & to hear those adorable giggles.

xoxx

Finishing Sentences.

2009-06-28T01:56:00.008-05:00

Thank you, Camille, for sharing this on your blog. This was a nice one & I felt it was too good to pass up.

I recorded the first thing that popped into my head upon reading each phrase.

Outside my window
The quiet night, a wet street that leaves evidence of yet another fabulous summer storm & some drunkards stumbling home from that one bar by our house.

I am thinking
about the inclinations I have and the emotions that arise in me because of them. Yep, pretty vague.

I am thankful for
my job. My handsome partner in crime and the love I incessantly feel for and from him. Our home, our impending home (wherever it may be) & all that lies ahead for us in that realm. My pals and comrades, my family. My talents. My everlasting optimism. My cats. The opportunities I have had and those that are coming my way.

From the kitchen
lots avocado, olive oil & sea salt lunches, a pretty mean cold press in the fridge & the best fresh whipped cream you will ever have.

I am wearing
this great brown calico 70s dress that I recently acquired from Rewind.

I am creating
songs, baby blankets, dresses, stories & other writes, photos, and a plan for my post apron wearing life.

I am going
to go crazy from anticipation. I will post a more detailed post when I know something. I don't know when this will be as we've been waiting for nearly 3 months as it is.

I am reading
Vodka Neat, a mystery recommended by grandfather.

I am hoping
for continued prosperity in health, love & happiness through my life.

I am hearing .
the podcast that I am listening to (The Story), Asha the cat meowing intermittently, the hummmmmm of the fridge, cars driving by and the splashes of water their motion causes.

Around the house
it's a little too quiet; HR is on tour.

One of my favorite things
falling asleep to the music of a thunderstorm on a hot, hot summer night.

A few plans for the rest of the week
a ladies bbq, lots of work, bike rides, matt & sara's wedding(!!) & a pedicure.

A picture to share
This my friend, Becca & her sister Emma. We Rocked The Garden last weekend & had the best Saturday ever in the process. I love this photo - it was a great moment & I was excited to have captured it.

xoxx

Michael Jackson 1958 - 2009

2009-06-26T03:46:00.010-05:00

The Moon Walk. White Gloves. The Best Dance Songs Ever: Beat It, P.Y.T., Don't Stop..., among so many more. The epic videos. The Jackson Five. The sunglasses & zipper Jacket. And of course the trademark appearance he sported in his prime.

This is my favorite way to remember him.

This was the era in which I was his biggest fan. My grandmother worried about her 5 year old granddaughter's dream of marrying The King of Pop, but in the end the only Michael Jackson t-shirt I had was a gift from her. I guess he won her over too.

xoxx

The Lowry Bridge has Fallen Down

2009-06-22T12:38:00.010-05:00

Have you ever seen a bridge fall down on purpose?

Being on a river, Minneapolis has a few bridges. This one was kind of a landmark because it was different. It was green, it was bumpy to drive across, and it was interesting to look at. When you walked on it you could see through it and into the Mississippi river. The bumpy ride across was a lot of fun if you were in grade school and on a school bus.

The implosion was yesterday. I wasn't there, I forgot it was happening. But thanks to YouTube I got to see it all. And so do you.

Rebuilding is said to start taking place in the fall.

xoxx

The Havoc Reaped by Music Theft.

2009-06-20T14:30:00.008-05:00

This week in my home city of Minneapolis a big thing happened. Jammie Thomas was found guilty by a jury of her peers for illegal file sharing. In other words, a major record label (Capitol) sued her for sharing music online and they won. She now owes them 1.9 million dollars.

A lot people are speaking out on Jammie Thomas' behalf.

A lot of people aren't saying anything.

This is what I say.

I think Capitol records should have won. I don't think they'll ever see their money (who has 1.9 million to just hand over? Certainly not Jammie Thomas) but it sets an important precedent.

I feel bad for Jammie Thomas. I do. 1.9 million dollars is a lot of money, probably more than she will ever make in her lifetime. The artists whose songs she shared are revered artists with high sales and probably doing fine. Capitol is a major record label and had the money to sue and pay for legal fees, so they are probably alright too (sort of, more on that in a minute). But let's not forget, she essentially enabled others to steal music.

So many of us have burned a CD for a friend, made mix tapes for our crushes and friends growing up, and even taped songs from the radio. This is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people who post songs on the internet for the masses to download for free. This may not seem like a big deal because it is thought that musicians make millions or maybe that it's just a song.

File sharing, whether you are downloading or posting, is stealing. It is not for anyone to give away for free unless you are the person who made it. It depletes the incomes of people who have worked hard on writing songs, recording them and making a name for themselves.

You work on a record for a year, writing music, saving money to get into the recording studio or maybe your label got you in. You record, have it all mastered, put it on an album and distribute it. Sales are alright, you might make a little money or you might make a lot. Then one day you stumble upon some person who has posted your album online for people to download for free. You are now working for free with no say in the matter.

We are a funny culture when it comes to money. We're consumed by it. We need excess amounts of it for lovely houses, shiny cars and beautiful clothes. We loath those who have it but fault those who don't. There is this illusion that since musicians make a lot of money it's okay to give away their work for free. They probably won't even notice. Imagine getting your paycheck & your employer notifies you that they decided they weren't going to pay you for your work on Tuesdays. You're out 2 days of pay with voice in the decision. That's a big deal. 20% of your work. That would never fly and neither should file sharing.

The music industry is pretty bleak right now. The major labels, despite their corporate statures are laying people off. Independent record stores all over the country are going out of business, big box stores like Target and Best Buy are decreasing their music sections or doing away with them completely. People just don't buy physical music anymore, they download it. Whether it be on itunes, a like site, or through file sharing.

The major labels are having a hard time. A few years ago I had a stint working for a major record label. The change is music buying trends had was beginning to set in at that time and lay offs were looming. People were freaking out then, I can only imagine what it's like now. And this is a major label. They have some cushion. Think about how all of this effects the smaller, independent labels.

I'm not saying to stop buying from itunes or stop making mix tapes (CDs) for your pals. I'm simply saying to buy your music. It's respectful of the artists whose music you enjoy.

It's the right thing to do.

xoxx

Gramps is 89.

2009-06-16T13:57:00.005-05:00

A little belated, I know.
One week ago my gramps, the infamous gramps, turned 89.
Yep, 89.

We celebrated the weekend before at the Horse Track where as family ranging in ages 10 to 89, we gambled, ate pizza, enjoyed Tanqueray & Tonics and gambled some more.

Now that he's 89, with a renewed driver's license in hand and many admirers at his feet, gramps says he's going to relax.

xoxx

How Neighborly.

2009-06-09T01:44:00.005-05:00

A year ago our landlord moved out of our fantastic duplex & a college freshmen moved in. We were nervous about this, as, well, we were once college freshmen and frankly enjoyed a good party back then. Surprisingly, the young frosh was MIA nearly all summer appearing once in a while with a piece of furniture and once sent us a random and excitable text about the plant he found in the back yard (yes it is what you are thinking). This was par for the course once school began. We think he was home during the school year, but he was so quiet that it felt as though we had the entire house to ourselves.

A few weeks ago the young frosh moved out and in moved a 3 women. While their relationships are not confirmed (we haven't asked), it is widely believed that they are mother and two daughters. They are not loud (no parties, loud music, or fighting) but they are definitely present. I hear the front door open and close often, the washer is in use almost everyday, and wafts of good food escape beneath the crack of their back door. This is nice, a comfort in fact & I think I will really appreciate it when Handsome Randy goes back on the road.

But still, their presence is something I have not yet gotten used to.

About 30 minutes ago someone knocked on our front door.

Okay, wait. Before I continue, let me just set the scene a bit more. The front door to our actual apartment is up a flight of stairs and behind the locked exterior door to our duplex. However, the exterior door has been unlocked more than locked since the lady trio moved last week. I have decided to care very little about this as the exterior door only leads to their front door and up a flight of stairs to our front door. There is access to nothing else. Besides our door locks, is always locked thus I feel secure.

So back to the knock on the front door.

It's 1:30am. I assume it's one of our new neighbors, but at the same time it could be someone who came in through the unlocked front door.

I freeze and listen, waiting for the knocker to go away. In the mean time I think about all the CSI, Law & Order, & NYPD Blue episodes I have seen and the crime scenes they have depicted of people senselessly murdered in their homes only because they answered the door when they weren't expecting anyone. Dramatic, I know, but in the moment it seemed really pertinent to the situation. Not to mention my father is a man of the law & has told me many times not to answer the door when I am home alone & not expecting anyone.

So the knocker goes away and I hear a door open and close. I tip toe to our porch to see if they exited outside (they didn't) and then I conclude that it was probably one of the lady trio downstairs.

Then I begin to think what they might need at this hour. A cup of sugar? Advice? Perhaps our car headlights are on (I looked outside, they were not). Or maybe they're in touble and need help.

I have to go downstairs and see.

I call HR. I tell him what's happened and that I plan to knock on their back door momentarily and that I just wanted him to know in case when he arrived home something had happened to me.

Yes I said that. Yes I was serious. But I saw this CSI Miami episode last night and...nevermind.

HR stays on the phone with me (I put the phone in my pocket, out of sight) and I go downstairs and knock on the Lady Trio back door.

The mom answers with a jovial, "HI DAHLI!" and leads me to their dining room where she produces our bathroom rug and a few of our towels. She came across them in the dryer and didn't want to just leave them downstairs on top of the dryer*.

Really? How nice. How thoughtful. I am so appreciative. I am so happy.

I am also such a dramaqueen.

We say our goodnights, I lift my phone to my ear in time to hear HR's stunted laughter.

"I'm Okay," I sheepishly say. He says he's glad and I give him a brief summary before hanging up.

I plod up our back steps, a little embarassed but mostly relieved. I find myself wondering if I would knock on their door upon finding stray laundry in the dryer. Probably not. I would probably fold it but then "just leave it" in the basement on the table near the dryer assuming they would find it later. I would feel really great about making the effort to fold someone else's laundry oblivious the shame I should feel for simply leaving it there, in the basement.

Maybe I have to re evaluate my neighborly practices. Maybe I should take a few notes from the lady trio downstairs.

xoxx

*While this is very kind, I am puzzled as to why one wouldn't leave those things on top of the dryer or on the table nearby which is in place for this exact situation. I was apparently too lazy or spacy (or both) to stop by our onsite dryer and pick up the rug and towles that finished drying sometime yesterday thus I deserved such an unknown fate for my bath wares.

The Hollywood

2009-06-07T20:58:00.007-05:00

I grew up a block away from The Hollywood Theatre, a once glamorous art deco movie house. The Hollywood opened in 1935 closing 52 years later in 1987. I was 9 years old when it closed, but remember the theatre vividly and fondly.

A few weeks ago, The Hollywood was open to the public. My friends Meg & Mark were with me and I likely bored them as I excitedly exclaimed, "I remember watching E.T. up there!" and "Over there was a Pac-Man video game table. Remember those? Oh all the big kids got to play on that, they were so cool." Amazingly, despite all of the decay from being closed for 22 years I could still see what it once was and it remarkably felt the same.

It was phenomenal to be inside the theatre and to have all those old memories jogged. But more striking was all the memories people shared while walking through. We ran into my grandpa there. He was with 2 friends who he grew up with blocks away from the theatre. The three of them strolled around reminscing over movies they'd seen there the pennies they saved for admission, and the sodas they'd shared at the drugstore on the corner after. I overheard people talking about seeing Star Wars, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf & Splash. It was a little bit moving.

I lingered in the theatre for a while, not feeling quite ready to leave. There is no set future for the Hollywood and a lot of talk of what should or shouldn't happen with it. So, I just wanted to savor it a little longer and try to memorize details of what was left. When I walked out the door, I looked back & made a wish that the next time I enter those doors it will be to see a film inside an again glamorous movie house.

xoxx

Just for You.

2009-05-28T23:02:00.002-05:00

xoxx

Guess Who's Back!

2009-05-26T15:14:00.005-05:00

Fresh off the Tour Bus on Saturday morning...he'll be so happy I posted this photo. ha.

xoxx

Style & Laughter a la Diane Keaton

2009-05-22T10:03:00.009-05:00

I laughed so hard last night, my belly still aches.

We all know Diane Keaton was funny, but to be actually laughing out loud, head thrown back & out of breath -- and with such a gifted person. It was incredible.

I had the privilege of going to see Diane Keaton last night at Orchestra Hall. It was the final lecture of Smart Talk series for 2009.

I associate Diane Keaton with my mother. Perhaps because she is contemporary of my mother's and was (and still is) very much revered by her. Growing up, we saw any film cast with Diane Keaton. I always have looked forward to her films and laughing at her jokes, even if I didn't fully understand why I was laughing.

When I was watching those movies with my mom I always understood that Diane Keaton was a woman who did what she wanted without worrying too much about what others thought. She had her own style, which I admired, and never apologized for it. I loved this, looked up to her for it and hoped to hold those kinds of qualities when I grew older.

The talk was filled with anecdotes and stories of the people she loves most; her children, parents, siblings, and a few colleagues. She talked fondly of growing up with an encouraging mother who journaled extensively & in her childhood allowed Keaton & her siblings to collage her journal with magazine cut outs pertinent to their lives. Through out, Keaton paid homage to her mother's journal collages by way of video; she peppered the talk with video montages that were comprised of home video and film clips and personal photos of herself, her mother and her two children. It was a nice personal touch that truly let us into her world.

Diane Keaton was very much how I imagined she would be. She candidly spoke of child rearing as a middle aged, single working mom as well watching her own mother succumb to Alzheimer's disease. I laughed and shed tears, sometimes separately, but mostly at the same time. She told funny and touching stories that had bookends of tangents that typically ended with, "Yeah, well, that's that." She was compassionate, sincere & very sentimental.

There were facets of the evening that felt reminiscent of girlhood sleepovers. During the question and answer segment there was so much laughter and sense of secret sharing - it felt as though there were only five of us in the room, not hundreds.

Moderator Margery Punnet of FM107 dished with Diane Keaton about leading men, family, marriage and other random facets of life. Somebody in the audience asked, "Why didn't you ever get married?" which was replied with, "Well, nobody ever asked me, for one..." followed by a laughing fit that spread through out the entire audience. It was confessed that kissing men on screen is better than real life because it's "free". After many attempts to explain what exactly this meant (only to interrupt herself with deep laughter over and over), she finally explained that onscreen kisses require no obligation while off screen kisses do.

At the end of the evening, I had the opportunity to have my photo taken with Diane Keaton. I took it (of course!) and when we met she said, "I like your outfit,"

"Thanks! I like yours too."

"You have good style,"

"Thanks! You do too."

I was freaked out with excitement over that 2 second exchange. I milled about the room socializing & drinking wine. But really all I could think about was calling my mom to tell her all about it. And the moment I was out of the building, I dialed my mom.

xoxx

This was the final event for the Smart Talk 2009 series. The 2010 series will announced sometime later this year.

A New Fight.

2009-05-19T23:18:00.005-05:00

In the past few weeks I have been seemingly fighting a lot of battles. There have been some with others (our landlord). There have been some with myself (why did/didn't you say/do that, Dahli?!). And then, of course, there are just the every day battles of life (traffic, long lines, work, etc).

There is now one more to add to the roster.

Tinea Pellionella

Wish me luck.

xoxx

Sir Terrible

2009-05-14T22:47:00.011-05:00

The drive from Minneapolis to Kansas City is pretty boring. It's 475 miles driveway to driveway. 430 of those miles are bor-ring farmscapes. Not even the cows, horses and pigs type of farmscape (I saw maybe 10 cows the entire way) it's all fields. Yes this can be pretty as there is a lot of green. But there aren't really any rolling hills and there are very few landmarks outside of freeway exit signs.

Bor - ring.

The most exciting moment in my drive to Kansas City has traditionally been when I cross over "Pole Cat Creek" somewhere in northern Missouri. When I cross over it I will say in a horrible, fake southern accent,"POLE CAT CREEEEEEK!" (Note that the extended "eeeee" in creek is said in a higher pitch than the rest). This is very entertaining and I usually crack myself up for a good 2 or 3 minutes with this antic.

I usually make this drive alone.

I can't imagine why no one would want ride with me.

Well I Pole Cat Creek was nearly upstaged on this journey. As I drove south on I-35 I could see something in the horizon. It was something I had never seen before.

I was kind of excited.

Terrible's Casino in Southern Iowa erected a new sign since last summer. Isn't he striking?

This means that there are now two exciting landmarks on the drive to Kansas City. And, thanks to this sign I have a brand new official stopping point for gas, snacks & bathroom.

I was so excited to see it that on the way back to Minneapolis I made a point to stop (well that and it is my official stopping place too) and took a photo. I did wish I had a road trip companion as I would have loved my photo taken with the very striking man, Terrible.

xoxx

Wedding.

2009-05-12T23:29:00.003-05:00

I spent the weekend in Kansas City in honor of my sister, Kati's nuptials to my fantastic new brother-in-law, Chris.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Set in my dad & stepmom's backyard, it was the most low key wedding I've ever been to & easily the most beautiful. Including my sister and her new husband, there 9 of us in attendance. Minutes before the ceremony was to begin Kati looked at myself and our other sister, Maura, "Will one of you hold the ring 'til I need it?"

After the ceremony we had a lovely lunch of chicken salad sandwiches, fresh fruit and oriental salad and watered ourselves with Champagne (of course). The meal (& wedding festivities) were completed with a strawberry mousse filled wedding cake and a reviewal of photos taken of the ceremony.

The bride and groom pulled out of the driveway around 3pm. We all waved, hugged each other and then changed into casual clothes and headed downtown. It was funny later when we ducked into a Starbuck's for coffee and I looked at my dad & said, "Kati and Chris were married today,"
"YEAH! Isn't it great?!"
It is. So great.

xoxx

Finding Thunder Bay

2009-05-06T23:16:00.006-05:00

This weekend I drove up to Thunder Bay, Ontario to get a little peak at Handsome Randy. I had 36 glorious hours to interact with my lovely partner in crime. And for maybe the first time ever in all my visits to him on the road, we did absolutely nothing. Not. A. Thing. We went out to dinner, returning to the hotel to read & watch TV with our ankles intertwined. When all the good TV was turned into infomercials we turned the television off & just talked until 5am. It was great. Maybe the best visit ever & it was because it was Thunder Bay.

There is not a lot going on Thunder Bay.

Thunder Bay is a sad little city that looks like it may have been a great place in a time long ago. It sits on beautiful Lake Superior & has charming little storefronts & sweet little houses. But the storefronts are vacant and the houses are saggy and everyone seems to need something that they're not getting.

When Randy was loading in & soundchecking I was off shooting photos of unsuspecting Thunder Bayites, having donuts at Robin's & driving around trying to see what this city once was. There seemed to be very little to love about it. One of the main thorough fare roads was lined with what seemed to be the skeleton of an abandoned train, another with half empty strip malls.

But somebody has to have pride for Thunder Bay, right? Somewhere in those sagging houses & vacant storefronts there has to be somebody who loves Thunder Bay, it's culture & it's train skeletons for just what they are. Yes, somewhere there is someone, probably some people who love Thunder Bay & the quiet it provides.

xoxx

Four Years.

2009-05-01T15:38:00.006-05:00

Four years ago today I went to Heart of the Beast Theatre's annual May Day Celebration at Powderhorn Park. I can still remember where I stood to watch the parade that year (27th & Bloomington) & I can still remember what I was wearing (my NE Junior High hoodie and red gingham skirt). After the parade I went to a party at someone's house across the street from the park. All the while I had a very handsome man on my mind: Randy Hawkins.

He was just arriving home from a three month road tour and the final show of the tour was that night at First Avenue. The tour was preceded by a month or so of lingering drinks at 2-4-1 Tuesdays at The Triple Rock followed by a few dates in the days he was getting ready to go on the road.

In those very early days of courtship between us I was preoccupied: my grandmother was terminally ill and I was trying to spend every moment I had free with her. But I'd get these phone calls asking if I wanted to meet at Nye's for a glass of wine or take the new Light Rail to the Mall of America on a Sunday. I wanted to & I did, but I didn't pay much attention to what was really happening. I was falling in love.

While Randy was on the road we talked on the phone nearly every night. I looked forward to when my day was over so I could hear his voice. I relished making him laugh (I still do) & I could listen to his stories of tour and travel all night if he felt like talking that long.

A lot took place during those phone conversations. I don't think we will ever know just how much.

Randy was the first person I called when I left my family the night my grandma died. He happened to be in town for a show the night of her funeral. He tried so hard to get me to go, when I refused he came to my apartment as soon as he could after the show and just held me for two hours while I talked and cried. I'll never forget how it was snowing that night, and I remember walking him to the door of the building and then rushing back to my apartment to watch him walk until he was out of sight. I can still see that image.

So I go to this show on May 1st with the sole purpose of seeing Randy. I'm nervous. The friend I brought along as my +1 asked me what I was so nervous about and I distintively remember responding, "I just feel like it could work out with him." And it has.

That night I think I drank 4 or 5 Black Russians (all booze, only vodka + Kahlua). This is amazing as I am the lightest of light weights and really shouldn't be doing anything after two cocktails let alone 5. But I needed an elixer.

The show ended and I ordered another drink. I remember spying Randy on stage taking things apart. I ran to the foot of the stage & yelled his name. He smiled and came over pulling me to an embrace and suggested we meet upstairs in the VIP lounge after a while.

When he arrived we clasped hands & I don't think I let go until the next day. Through the last four years we have learned so very much about each other and each day I think we fit together more perfectly. And through it all our hands have been clasped together and I think they always will be.

xoxx

productivity.

2009-04-30T23:24:00.001-05:00

It will never cease to amaze me how much more productive I feel when our house is clean and I am all caught up with various menial tasks.

We are having a furnace problem and while it is spring, it is still cold at night & I would like more help keeping warm than the 3 blankets that are on our bed. So our landlord is allegedly stopping by tomorrow or Saturday to take a look at & hopefully remedy the problem.

This is when the messy house becomes a problem.

Our back hallway where the furnace resides is a disaster - it is our recycling area and it's also the drop off point for things that need to go upstairs except those things never seem to get there. The majority of my clothes that are in current circulation of being worn are on the floor in the bathroom as well as 4 or 5 pairs of my shoes. Junk mail is in a pile on the living room floor. I took the garbage out yesterday but the trash can is still in the middle of the kitchen floor waiting for a new bag.

You get it. Embarrassingly messy.

So tonight I remedied all of it. All of it. No joke. And to top it off I finally downloaded 6 CDs into itunes that I've been meaning to for so long. And that is what felt the best of everything.

By the way, Handsome Randy if you are reading this, you are not allowed to give me shit for our messy house that I tout as being so spic and span clean whilst you are on the road. This was a minor slip...

xoxx

An Occasion to Lie.

2009-04-27T01:17:00.009-05:00

When I was in early elementary school I had a problem with lying. I just lied to lie. I might tell my mother that my friend, Danielle didn't go to school that day, when she was indeed there all day long. Or maybe I would tell my piano teacher that my grandpa bought a new car, when he was still quite obviously driving his old one when he picked me up from lessons. Well, this was a problem for my mother & I was warned on numerous occasions to "stop with the lying". But I failed to heed warnings and continued. Finally, my mother threatened to put Tobasco sauce on my tongue (the obvious culprit, stupid tongue) the next time I lied. I lied, was caught and I smirked with my tongue stuck out so my mother could administer one drop of Tobasco. My mother would like to believe that this stopped my lying. Perhaps it did. But every once in a while it comes back.

Tonight at work in the midst of out of town business people shouting orders of Guinness and Jameson at me, a man asked me if my hair was it's natural color. "Yes, it is," I replied. This is my stock response to this question. It is so obvious that it is dyed; if you have the audacity to ask me, I will have the audacity to lie to you. Usually a compliment will follow and the conversation moves on or ends. Well not tonight.

This particular man couldn't believe it; it was so vibrant and unique. He then went on to ask what my family heritage is. I told him Norwegian, "One hundred percent?" he asked.

"Yep," I say & it is so not true. He then asks which region of Norway and I tell him that both of my parents came from a tiny little island called Evjen that lies between Norway and Denmark. He prods further and I tell him that my parents came to the U.S. together when they were 18 and everyone in my family has hair this color, it's kind of an unofficial trademark of people from the island of Evjen. He is astonished and inquires about tourism on Evjen, I encourage him to visit; it's very nice as I spent many summers there growing up. He promises to do so & is going to look it up in his atlas when he gets home.

Where is that Tobasco?

xoxx

Feelin' Fresh with a New 'Cut

2009-04-25T15:00:00.007-05:00

When I get my haircut I am always at the point where I cannot stand my hair for one more second. I have been there for the last 10 days. When I called to make an appointment with my stylist & was told the next opening was in 10 days I thought, "Ten Days! How will I make it?"
Well obviously it wasn't that hard. And in truth all I wanted & needed was a trim, so nothing is drastically different. But man oh man does it ever feel amazing to have a new cut. xoxx

And then there's the separate issue of the photo I used courtesy of my iPhoto Booth. Will you promise not to laugh if I admit that I spent ten minutes posing for, taking and re-taking photos for this blog post. Yes. Yes, I did. And the worst part about that? The photo above is the best one of the lot.

xoxx

Scrambling for Spring.

2009-04-21T23:45:00.002-05:00

oh I know this. so well.

Living in a place where spring/summer/fall is amazing and so hard not to go outside I feel I am at best physically by the time August comes around. I am tan, have been riding my bike and walking everywhere so I feel very lean and lovely. Then winter hits and it all goes to hell. Sort of.
I always mean to go to the gym but maybe get there once a week if I'm lucky. This year I have managed to feel pretty great despite my worst gym record in recent winters. My only fall back is that when I put on a dress it looks as though I could be wearing white nylons.

xoxx

The Wisdom of Phylicia Rashad.

2009-04-21T21:56:00.021-05:00

Her magenta blouse flowed evenly and free as she walked on stage in radiance. When she reached the center of the stage she broke into dance (her introduction music was Diana Ross' "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"). We, the audience, stood roaring with applause. She sat down on the sofa with a smile and when the music faded away she spoke in the sing song rhythm that was in the living rooms of so many of us for so many Thursday nights.

Not unlike the others, this Smart Talk event made me feel like I was not an audience member but a best girlfriend with whom Phylicia Rashad was catching up with. Or perhaps more appropriate to my generation, a best girlfriend's adult daughter with whom she was sharing life's lessons. And share some lessons with me she did.

Phylicia Rashad's life journey is magnificent. She talked about how her life, from the first spotlight she ever graced in her Houston, Texas childhood to the beauty and love in child rearing. A radiant and calming presence, she spoke from her heart with such purpose and grace. Her wisdom ever apparent as she shared stories of her life, always highlighting the moments of love, determination and strength through success and triumph.

Through everything, the sun "followed [her] wherever [she] went because [she] was special". It was this determination that nurtured her talents and gave her such a notable career and a privileged life. And also frequent phone calls to her mother for advice. Her humility was remarkable.

Encouraged by Phylicia Rashad's stories, I walked out of the theater ready to dust off old dreams and pursue them at all costs. I am confident I will carry Phylicia Rashad's words with me for sometime as I live day to day, making decisions and navigating through situations. There is opportunity for love in everything and I know the sun will be wherever I go.

She is truly an inspiration and I am so very happy I heard her speak.

*******************************************

Next month SmartTalk brings Diane Keaton to Minneapolis. She will be speaking at Orchestra Hall on May 21st at 7:30pm. Tickets are still available, you purchase them online here. You too could be inspired.

xoxx

Susan Boyle Made Me Cry Too.

2009-04-16T14:13:00.003-05:00

I am a little bit late to the punch with this one, I know.
Thanks to another blog I read I was directed to this Youtube video which I watched only a few moments ago. I was weeping, yes weeping by the time it finished and I am still a little bit teary as I write this. Take a look & then if you wish, read this article from The Huffington Post for more Susan Boyle facts. And grab a box of kleenex.
xoxx

Can't Wait to See Phylicia!

2009-04-15T13:16:00.005-05:00

I think the Cosby family is the only television family I really wanted to be a part of. They were all so smart and always had a great time together. And the parents, Cliff & Clair were so in love and carried on the ideal equal partnership.

Clair Huxtable was a working mom who did it all and could still have a great laugh at the end of the day. As a mom, she was fair and wise with a lot of humor and love. Clair Huxtable was kind of a Donna Reed for me; when I imagine myself as a mother, I hope I can be just like Clair.

While I am completely serious, I am also realistic.

I do realize that Clair Huxtable is not a real person and only lives in the heart and minds of NBC viewers who watched Thursday night television in the eighties. But she was brought to life ever so perfectly by Phylicia Rashad.

Phylicia Rashad is coming to Minneapolis this coming Tuesday, April 21st! She will be appearing at Orchestra Hall as part of the Smart Talk series. As you can imagine, I am very much looking forward to hearing what she has to say - I know it will be great!

If you want to go (you should) tickets are still available. Go here to purchase them.

Photos & Captions.

2009-04-13T23:27:00.005-05:00

Easter was yesterday & I am lucky enough to be part of two families who continue to give me Easter Schwag despite being in my thirties. They give Randy chocolate too & he's into his forties. This gives us no incentive to have children as we are still reaping the benefits the little ones are with the all the glorious benefits of adulthood.

In my family we coerce children to perform music for us & then we make them laugh by singing along to "Hot Cross Buns" (which was requested because we knew the words). Liam was a great sport yesterday and played many pieces on his clarinet despite our gregarious singing along to Hot Cross Buns, Let's Go Band & When The Saints Go Marching In.

So, as you may have gathered yesterday was a fun & food filled day. More ham than I could ever dream of, mashed potatoes, au gratin potatoes, asparagus, chocolate fondue, cole slaw, croissants, and so much more. All the food combined with all the laughs and conversation that comes with such family events put me in bed at 10:30 last night.
Too bad I decided to start New Moon (the second book in the Twilight series because I was up until 4am reading. I finished it this morning and went on with a nice spring day telling myself I should go for a bike ride but had a pedicure and a few beers instead. The good news is that it's April so there are many more lovely days upon us & I will have so many more opportunities to go for a great ride.

And then there was this.
This is my cat, Asha, she loves boxes. I snapped this today while cleaning out a closet. She also is completely in the know about how adorable she is.

Have a great Tuesday.

xoxx

Housewives

2009-04-08T12:49:00.003-05:00

Last night Bravo aired The Real Housewives of New Jersey 30 minute preview. I hate to say it, but it was like real life Sopranos ladies without the Mafia. Gigantic houses that are fairly new, shiny cars, lavish home decor, and lots of tawk. Everyone is related (2 of the 5 are sisters and are married to a set of brothers, another woman is married to the brother of the two sisters, and the other 2 are friends) and everyone has money. Yet they are quick to say, "I didn't grow with this, this is new to me."

This should be a good series. I think the suburban aspect is nice and unlike the my favorite ladies in NYC, these ladies are not too prim & proper to let it go when conflict arises. There will be some good fights.

Meanwhile in New York, Luann has become so annoying. I mean, come on! Volunteer your time with adolescant girls from Brooklyn at The Boys & Girls club and talk to them about being a Countess (gag) and tell the girl who said she wanted to be a babysitter she was "cute" and the one who wanted to be a model that her face was pretty, she could still grow tall and "losing weight was the easiest part". Seriously?! Once upon a time Luann was my favorite, but her self absorbtion has become so clear in recent episodes, even Ramona ranks higher.

xoxx

Shushed.

2009-04-07T03:08:00.005-05:00

I've been pretty quiet for the past week. This is because there is the possibility of something really exciting & while I am so very tempted to write about it I hesitate in case I jinx it. So without giving anything away, please send good energy our way & when I have concrete news I will be happy to share.

In other news, Handsome Randy left this evening on a 7 week tour. In theory this means I will have less distraction and will write more.

xoxx

Music Splurge

2009-03-30T20:22:00.004-05:00

Back in the day when I was just out of college & was making very little money, I used to go to my local record store and drool over new music on a very regular basis. In those days I felt proud of myself if I was able to leave without buying anything and about every fourth trip I would do a major splurge & purchase six or seven new CDs spending around $60. $60 was a lot for someone who had about twice that much a month after all her bills were paid (so this was gas money, groceries, etc). But, I was 23 & was willing to starve or eat at my relatives' if it meant having good music to listen to.

Presently my surplus is greater that $120 after all my bills are paid yet I don't splurge on new music. Ever. I can't remember the last time I did it. I guess in my evolution into full blown adulthood I acquired some self restraint when it comes to buying music.

In the last couple of weeks I have realized that I have a little extra cash & have been meaning to make a trip to my neighborhood record store, The Electric Fetus. Tonight I finally made it and had a list of CDs I wanted. I fulfilled the list and so much more. I don't feel the least bit guilty as I did when I was sacrificing my food money, instead I felt fantastic & could hardly wait to listen & blog about them! Stay tuned for thoughts on some of the following...

Jenny Lewis, Acid Tongue
Marvin Gaye, Collections
Antony & The Johnstons, The Crying Light
Thelonious Monk, Prestige Series
Animal Collective, Merriweather Post Pavilion
Lucy Michelle & the Velvet Lapelles, Orange Peels & Rattlesnakes
Neko Case, Middle Cyclone
Handsome Furs, Face Control
Eleni Mandell, Artificial Fire
Mirah, (a)spera

Phew! I've got a lot of listening to do...
xoxx

The Spectacular Cousin Liam

2009-03-28T12:44:00.011-05:00

My cousin, Liam invited me to his school play this week. I've been to a few school plays of Liam's, they are always so much fun to watch. He is in them, of course, but also because I have done so much theatre in my life that it's so refreshing to see it done by elementary school kids.

So I went with camera in tow ready to take photo after photo of my favorite ten year old. I went to a daytime performance; there were only a few other family members there and the rest of the audience was comprised of students. Liam attends the same elementary school I did so it's kind of fun to be back there in the middle of the day amongst the student body. Not to mention there is a teacher or two still there from my day.

This production held a little more weight than the past plays because it's Liam's last year in elementary school & his final play there. The play was called, "The Best Little Theatre in Town". It was about a theatre that was in danger of closing due to financial problems. It had all the necessary ingredients for a good and exciting times: lies, love & police chases and it was a musical which added singing and dancing. So much fun.

My cousin, Liam is more like a nephew to me as he's 20 years younger. So I have a little more of a maternal feeling toward him than I do with my other cousins who are all closer to my age. He sang a duet and when he sang it was perfect; great pitch, lovely tone and he sported spectacular stage presence. I was so proud that when the applause came I stood up and shouted, "BRAVO!! BRAVO!!" and then looked back at the entire school population behind me and said, "That's my cousin!! Wasn't he fantastic!!".

Okay, I didn't do that. But I really, really wanted to.

xoxo

Why I love Fran Drescher

2009-03-26T15:24:00.017-05:00

Tonight Fran Drescher walked onto Minneapolis’ Orchestra Hall stage hailing a Miss America wave. She stepped up to the podium & graciously smiled, then said in her famous Queens, NY accent, “What a warm Minnesota welcome! Thank you for coming out in the snow; I am so flattered!” Immediate laughter and the ice was broken.

Within moments of tonight’s Smart Talk’s Connected Conversation this once “chubby girl from Queens” effortlessly evoked the feeling of dishing with an old friend over coffee. And like the good friend that I am, everything good that happened to her I was excited about and everything challenging I took to heart.

I rooted for her and felt proud of her as she told the story of how her revered show, “The Nanny” came to be and the tribulations and triumphs that came with it. I was disgusted on her behalf as she spoke of the 2 years of 8 doctors and misdiagnosis she endured before finally learning she had Uterine Cancer. The subsequent hysterectomy & recovery made my heart ache for her. But her perseverance inspired me.

Fran Drescher recovered from uterine cancer motivated to change women’s health policies and that is just what she has done. Marching up and down Washington D.C.’s Capitol Hill for women’s health, she seized every opportunity to network with people she knew and talking about the necessity for stronger women’s health initiatives. Her work paid off; by unanimous vote in 2005 The Gynecological Cancer Education and Awareness Act passed and was signed into law.

But she didn't stop there. She founded the organization, Cancer Schmancer to help educate women on the prevention and early detection of cancer. The organization is named after her book "Cancer Schmancer" (released in 2003) in which she shares her experience with Uterine Cancer and subsequent recovery. On the website for Cancer Schmancer there are links to advice for Cancer prevention, early detection signs, and diagnosis and treatment. With this site, Fran Drescher created a fantastic place where women can go and find straight forward information about a deadly disease that very few people talk about candidly.

All of her stories, no matter how dire the situation had not only a punch line, but a silver lining as well. She really advocated for us, her audience, to “invest in every opportunity” and to see every event, good or bad, as an opportunity to invest in. She also advised us to be proactive when it comes to our health: Don’t be infantile, write down questions to ask, and bring a strong support person with you. I appreciated that & took with me so much because of it.

When the evening came to a close, I stood with great enthusiasm, clapped and even let out a hoot. I felt so much gratitude for all the work Fran Drescher has done on behalf of women. Also, I had learned so much and suddenly had so much to do. I was inspired to make things greater for my community and myself, and to invest in every opportunity that comes my way.

2009 is the 13th season of Smart Talk and I am looking forward to Phylicia Rashad on Tuesday, April 21st at 7:30pm, and Diane Keaton on Thursday, May 21st at 7:30pm. Both events are at Orchestra Hall and tickets are still available. You can learn how to buy tickets here.

xoxx

online shopping.

2009-03-25T22:23:00.005-05:00

I am in the market for a new wallet. The one I have now is this Trifold silver synthetic leather with a snap & a coin pocket that I bought at Urban Outfitters 3 years ago for around $25. I love it, it's perfect, but the lining is all worn down in the change compartment & now all my coins fall out. This will simply no longer do.

$25 lasted 3 years, the wallet before was a coin purse that I purchased for $10 & lasted one year. This time I'm willing to spend some serious money, like Coach kind of money.
I don't need room for much: My ID, my library card, maybe a photo or 2, cash & coins. In the world of fine leather accessories, I need a "Mini".

After searching high & low at Coach, Nordstrom & beyond. I found this. It's perfect. It's small & it comes in green! But for whatever reason I just can't finish the order. It's in my "shopping cart", I have the funds, everything's good to go. I even look at it everyday online. But I just can't seal the deal.

This is what happens when I shop online. I am too contemplative for my own good.

In my closet right now is a dress I ordered from a J. Crew Final Sale last winter. It's a 6P, I need a plain 6. I ended up with a 6P instead because I stared at the regular 6 online too long & by the time I got up the gumption to just order the damn dress all the regular size 6 dresses were gone. So ordered a 6P with the thought, "Well I am only 5'5, that is on the cusp of petite". True. But it's just a little too small (I should have gotten an 8P) & it was Final Sale so I'm stuck with it. If I would have just ordered the dress from the beginning I would have worn the dress by now because it would fit me.

Now if you would excuse me, I have to go press "submit order" on a certain website
xoxx

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION (makes me nervous).

2009-03-24T22:57:00.005-05:00

In my quest to make a living without an apron I have been doing a little networking with the help of my friend, Beth. One thing that always comes up is the importance of promoting yourself, talking yourself up, pointing out how great your stuff is.
Oh! This is sooo scary for me.
I was raised to be ever so modest & complimentary of others, not myself.
But here goes, modesty is going out the window.

**********

Be sure to visit my NEW WEBSITE

xoxx

Will Oldham Live!

2009-03-20T02:28:00.013-05:00

Tonight I had the distinct pleasure of seeing Will Oldham perform. I learned of Will Oldham during my first semester of college when he was playing under the names Palace, Palace Music, or Palace Brothers. I was hooked immediately and consumed every recording I could find, listening to them at all hours, all the time.

In my 12 years of Will Oldham Fandom I have never seen him live. I have been either out of town, at rehearsal or not old enough to get into the venue when opportunity arose. Needless to say when I discovered only last Sunday that he was playing in Minneapolis today under the current name, Bonnie 'Prince' Billy and that it was sold out my heart sank. I was pretty sad (& mildly self righteous in regards to being such a long time fan) but I decided that I would just go to the venue the day of the show & see what would happen.

I arrived 30 minutes early in hopes of stumbling upon a spare ticket. This show was a hipster convention: lots of beards, lots of skinny jeans, and no one talking. I got in a line with a lot of hope. About 10 minutes later my friend, Mary walked by & said, "You got a ticket!!" I explained to her that no, I hadn't, but was hoping to find someone who had an extra one that I could buy. Upon hearing this, the man ahead of me wordlessly handed me a ticket. I offered to pay, he waved me off and put his headphones on. He never said a word.

When I got into the theatre I scouted a seat in the second row. When the curtain went up revealing Bonnie 'Prince' Billy in their entirety I got goose bumps. Really. After the opening song Will Oldham paid to tribute to his guitarist, Emmett Kelly for breaking a string so early in the show. He continued to poke fun at the guitarist before transitioning to Obama's weekly radio address asking the audience if we listened to it this week. At this point, he could have said anything I would have thought it brilliant. I decided I needed to make more effort to listen to Obama's address. Through out the show every time he addressed the audience I listened carefully vowing to remember it forever. I was absorbed.

Will Oldham is incredibly prolific releasing records what seems to be all the time. His music is ever changing which gives every album a completely different feel, but it always carries the honest and intriguing lyrics that continually draw me in.

Tonight songs were played from all parts of his canon in ways I could have never imagined. (I was) Drunk at the Pulpit was a ten minute improvisation with the lyrics seeming to be the skeleton for the piece. Hard Life & Disorder were played as well, easily recognized but clearly reinvented and beautiful. Will Oldham has a spectacular stage presence; he is always doing kicks, twirls, and many, many gestures. Tonight he was always dancing, clearly in bliss on stage. I cheered when Just to see my Holly Home began. For this one he passed his guitar to violinist, Cheyenne Mize, and picked up a green Melodion. It was fantastic, a highlight of the show. But wait, the entire show was a highlight.

The show ended with Horses, blowing me a away. I couldn't believe it was already over. I gave a standing ovation (like the good Minnesotan that I am) and happily clapped as loud as I could.
This was one of the best shows I've ever been to in my life. I grinned the entire time, I am still grinning and probably will be for a very long time all the while listening to Will Oldham/Bonnie 'Prince' Billy/Palace recordings.
xoxx

Feeling Hefty.

2009-03-19T10:54:00.004-05:00

I am having a day in which I feel a little bit hefty.

GAH!

And before I continue on this topic, I want to make very clear that I know I am not fat or even remotely overweight, just a little bit out of shape. Okay, a lot out of shape.

This morning I went to the gym for the first time in far too long. I pulled on my work out pants and they were tight. Tight! They have never ever been tight. This was the beginning of my self deprication and evolved into some pretty disgusted sighs as I looked in the full length mirror while I stretched. In the very least my too tight work out pants & self depricating mirror gazes provided some motivation to get on the elliptical as fast as possible and stay there.

But I couldn't. I got on, set the program for 30 minutes and danced away...Outkast, Le Tigre, Aretha - all the motivators but it was not enough. By the fourth song I was exhausted and with out energy. I was annoyed and pushed through three more songs counting the seconds until they ended...so I pushed myself to the 2 mile mark and jumped off, a little defeated but not without a wake up call that I need to get back there. ASAP.
xoxx

Beginning of the End.

2009-03-17T12:38:00.005-05:00

Our house is such a 'sty right now. The thing that always gets me moving is washing the bathroom & kitchen towels. But our washer is out of order presently so I have to go to the Laundromat or a kind relative's house & that takes a little more planning & effort. I working on a plan right now...I swear.

But seriously, it's lucky for me that the weather warmed up because I could just move into my summer clothes & not worry about which dirty clothing item is the cleanest. We all have done this is dire times right?

Handsome Randy is leaving for SXSW early tomorrow. His absence always seems to inspire a major cleaning overhaul. Tomorrow it will for sure begin. It obviously won't happen today as I am too busy writing about it.

I never stop feeling amazed at how much more productive I feel with a clean house. Perhaps because the housekeeping isn't hanging over my head to get done or I feel more organized or something. But it always feels like i get so much more get accomplished, even if all my day consisted of was watching a Bravo reality TV marathon. I guess I could pay closer attention without the distraction of random, accumulated junk on our coffee table.

And by the way, at which moment did we give up on our clean living quarters & start to leave random junk on the coffee table. And dining & kitchen tables for that matter? That is always the beginning of the end of a clean house. It probably began the same day we started leaving our dirty clothes in the bathroom.
xoxx

Spring Signals.

2009-03-16T18:12:00.004-05:00

This morning I walked out of our house in my usual attire as of late: black tights, boots, a dress & jacket to keep me warm. I got to the car, threw my belongings inside & then stopped. It was so nice out, 65 degrees to be exact. I was going to have a miserable day in winter wear on this lovely spring day. So I went back inside & fretted over what to wear, intent on having bare legs despite how blindingly pale they are. I ended up in a summer dress (I know I'm pushing it a little bit), sneakers with no socks (eeeeh!) and a cotton cardigan. Immediately my mood shifted up about 1000 degrees.

My day has been spent running errands, the car windows down at all times with great music blaring. I got to take an hour long walk and even bought a cold press coffee instead of my usual hot dark roast. Ah, it was so very refreshing on this nice, warm day.

The smell of spring is rampant and I love it, even though at this point it seems to be derived mainly from goose poop. But let me tell you, goose poop has never smelled so good on a sunny day.
xoxx

OMG! She's Sleeveless!

2009-03-06T12:06:00.023-06:00

Last week Michelle Obama's "Official" First Lady portrait was unveiled. I don't remember the unveiling of Laura or Hillary's even happening let alone being such a big deal. The unveiling of this portrait flooded the media.

The lack of sleeves was the most likely comment to be made, though it didn't seem to be with any criticism, just simply noted. Anderson Cooper headlined his CNN "360" show with something to the effect of "First Lady portrait unveiled, will she be sleeveless? Coming up." I laughed out loud at the sense of cliffhanger given over Michelle Obama's sleeves, or lack there of. While I wasn't surprised (her arms and our easy view of them has been a comment in the media for a while) I was a little dismayed by the attention that detail of the portrait received.

I understand the obsession with Michelle Obama's fashion and I too am guilty of it; she is the most fashionable First Lady in the White House in a very long time. I can sort of understand the curiosity behind her preference for sleeveless dresses as we are used the The First Lady dressing either ever so matronly or in the political attire of The Pant Suit. But really, does it matter all that much if she has sleeves or not? She is such a graceful presence and embodies so much class, I wish we would just appreciate that and move along.

I am relieved to have heard very little, if any, negative criticism of her appearance.
I shudder at the thought of Michelle Obama being berated as Hillary Clinton was early in President Clinton's term for wearing a headband. I do believe that criticism was so loud because she was such a presence and clearly a woman who speaks out. That cannot be criticized in this day and age, but her appearance can.

Last night I was on the internets pretending to be productive and decided to look up the First Lady portraits of the past. I am struck by the backgrounds chosen, the poses, and of course what they were wearing. Obviously there is in image one tries to project and uphold when they are First Lady and I suppose the Official Portrait is the way set that up and set in stone forever. Fresh cut flowers seem to be a common prop and I suppose the kind of flowers chosen is something that is as well thought out as wardrobe and background.
As I look through these portraits I am reminded of standing in Art Museums through out my life and staring at the antique portraits of Royalty. When I was a child I would bide my time with those portraits by imagining the life the person led, and the moment captured (or invented) on canvas - what that moment meant for them. I always made note of those who went against the grain by smiling and decided that I would have smiled too.

It is in that vein that I salute our First Lady, Michelle Obama for not wearing a sleeved dress in her portrait. It seems so silly to see someone as going against the grain for not wearing sleeves, but it is just what she did. Her quiet determination to stay true to herself despite her latest station in life has spoken volumes to me and says so much about the entire First Family. And that is just one of the many factors that gives me so much Hope for the next 4 years.

P.S. Former First Ladies L to R: Betty Ford; Rosalyn Carter; Laura Bush; Hillary Clinton