27 April 2007

midwest guilt

it's been a while since i've posted (nearly 2 weeks!)..but i worked a lot after the fashion show was over (maybe too much). now i've had a couple of days off in a row which has allowed me to land back on earth. on my way back to earth, I purchased 2 awesome pairs of shoes, a couple of great summer dresses & made plans to fly to new york for a quick little trip on monday flying home on tuesday in time for work at 4pm.
this is so exciting and spontaneous and...stressful. funny. one of my new year's resolutions for 2007 was to travel more. i loooove to travel & I am currently in a place where i have the means & a flexible job...so, monday I'm going to ny, the week after to atlanta & the week after that i'll be in LA. good times, right? but oh do I ever feel guilty.
I was raised in a middle class family in the midwest. modesty was the motto, don't buy the name brand green beans, buy the store brand, they are the same after all & we'll save 10 cents.
At age 28, I am so intent on going against that ideal, sometimes I laugh at myself. No matter the cost, I have intense brand loyalty for shampoo, yogurt, milk, fresh basil, dish soap, apples. APPLES! Seriously. I don't know, maybe it's silly, but in some weird way, it kind of makes me feel like a bonafied adult or maybe it allows me to feel grounded..or maybe it just assures me I am not like my mother.
well, my mother's voice was ringing in my ears last night as I purchased my ticket to NY. I found myself grilling & questioning my reasoning for going and in some instances wondering if I was somehow shirking responsiblities or bills. for example:
is it necessary to go? no.
could you use the money in other ways? yes.
is your rent paid for may? yes.
for june? no.
well, you are going on two more trips in may...
ACH! Midwest guilt!
In the end, I remind myself that this was a new year's resolution. I don't have kids, I have the money, why not? This is the time to do spontaneous trips! By Sunday night I should be over the guilt & feel excited to be in the big apple..even if it is just for one night. xoxx


  1. Oh how I can relate to the Midwest guilt! I think I've embraced the same brand-choosing as a means to adulthood, too. But you're absolutely right! You DON'T have kids, you have a job that is flexible. NOW is the time to travel. Besides, you'd spend the money on some brand-name whatits, anyway, so might as well make a trip out of it! Enjoy NYC!

  2. You don't have to be from the midwest to have the guilt! Maybe just a cheapass (Oh, I mean thrifty) mom.

    I just got back from Vegas and I now feel like I need to be very fiscally responsible for a while.

    I hope you have a wonderful time! Ah...New York. The best city in the world.