well, i haven't been writing as much as i would like. & when I get into a place where I'm not doing things that I enjoy I tend to get down on myself for it. This of course only prohibits me from returning to doing those things again. i get into a rut.
grrrr.
oh, i've been in a rut for about a month now. no sewing, no writing, not a lot of biking, not even a lot of housekeeping.
we've all been here in various forms, right?
it's a vicious cycle. And it is loathsome.
Lately, everyday I wake up waay too late (12:30 or so) because I couldn't fall asleep until the sun came up (I've also been having trouble sleeping, go figure). I am immediately annoyed with how much of the day has happened without me. So, the long bike ride I wanted to take before work (I typically start at 4) is forfeited because I stomp around my house for a while sulking about the time.
I either resign to a really short ride or to "relaxing", which is not at all, it's laziness & encouraging of self depracation. These "relaxing" afternoons consist of me eating yogurt & apples while I watch the day's General Hospital episode sprawled out on the sofa with my cats. GH ends at 3 & I realize I don't have much time before work & flutter about doing things like cleaning the litter box or taking out the garbage or the dishes. I arrive at work in a daze because really, my day has just begun but it's pretty much over especially if I close the restaurant. I vow that tomorrow will be different: I'll fall asleep before the sun rises and wake up earlier & go on a bike ride followed by very productive things!
But then night falls & it happens all over again.
sigh.
So cyclic.
But! Never fear! I think I have dug myself out! Today, I broke the mold & was up by 10 & feeling better and more productive.
I'll keep you posted if you keep checking back.
xoxx
Ugh, Dahli. That sounds awful. I'm sorry you've been feeling so poorly. Someone as utterly fabulous as you shouldn't have to suffer such things.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for getting out!
And BTW, I check here all the time. I get so happy when there is a new post. (Not to add any kind of blogging pressure. It shouldn't be like that!)