24 June 2007

I have dug myself out.

well, i haven't been writing as much as i would like. & when I get into a place where I'm not doing things that I enjoy I tend to get down on myself for it. This of course only prohibits me from returning to doing those things again. i get into a rut.


oh, i've been in a rut for about a month now. no sewing, no writing, not a lot of biking, not even a lot of housekeeping.
we've all been here in various forms, right?

it's a vicious cycle. And it is loathsome.

Lately, everyday I wake up waay too late (12:30 or so) because I couldn't fall asleep until the sun came up (I've also been having trouble sleeping, go figure). I am immediately annoyed with how much of the day has happened without me. So, the long bike ride I wanted to take before work (I typically start at 4) is forfeited because I stomp around my house for a while sulking about the time.
I either resign to a really short ride or to "relaxing", which is not at all, it's laziness & encouraging of self depracation. These "relaxing" afternoons consist of me eating yogurt & apples while I watch the day's General Hospital episode sprawled out on the sofa with my cats. GH ends at 3 & I realize I don't have much time before work & flutter about doing things like cleaning the litter box or taking out the garbage or the dishes. I arrive at work in a daze because really, my day has just begun but it's pretty much over especially if I close the restaurant. I vow that tomorrow will be different: I'll fall asleep before the sun rises and wake up earlier & go on a bike ride followed by very productive things!

But then night falls & it happens all over again.


So cyclic.

But! Never fear! I think I have dug myself out! Today, I broke the mold & was up by 10 & feeling better and more productive.

I'll keep you posted if you keep checking back.


1 comment:

  1. Ugh, Dahli. That sounds awful. I'm sorry you've been feeling so poorly. Someone as utterly fabulous as you shouldn't have to suffer such things.

    Good for you for getting out!

    And BTW, I check here all the time. I get so happy when there is a new post. (Not to add any kind of blogging pressure. It shouldn't be like that!)