Four Years.

Four years ago today I went to Heart of the Beast Theatre's annual May Day Celebration at Powderhorn Park. I can still remember where I stood to watch the parade that year (27th & Bloomington) & I can still remember what I was wearing (my NE Junior High hoodie and red gingham skirt). After the parade I went to a party at someone's house across the street from the park. All the while I had a very handsome man on my mind: Randy Hawkins.

He was just arriving home from a three month road tour and the final show of the tour was that night at First Avenue. The tour was preceded by a month or so of lingering drinks at 2-4-1 Tuesdays at The Triple Rock followed by a few dates in the days he was getting ready to go on the road.

In those very early days of courtship between us I was preoccupied: my grandmother was terminally ill and I was trying to spend every moment I had free with her. But I'd get these phone calls asking if I wanted to meet at Nye's for a glass of wine or take the new Light Rail to the Mall of America on a Sunday. I wanted to & I did, but I didn't pay much attention to what was really happening. I was falling in love.

While Randy was on the road we talked on the phone nearly every night. I looked forward to when my day was over so I could hear his voice. I relished making him laugh (I still do) & I could listen to his stories of tour and travel all night if he felt like talking that long.

A lot took place during those phone conversations. I don't think we will ever know just how much.

Randy was the first person I called when I left my family the night my grandma died. He happened to be in town for a show the night of her funeral. He tried so hard to get me to go, when I refused he came to my apartment as soon as he could after the show and just held me for two hours while I talked and cried. I'll never forget how it was snowing that night, and I remember walking him to the door of the building and then rushing back to my apartment to watch him walk until he was out of sight. I can still see that image.

So I go to this show on May 1st with the sole purpose of seeing Randy. I'm nervous. The friend I brought along as my +1 asked me what I was so nervous about and I distintively remember responding, "I just feel like it could work out with him." And it has.

That night I think I drank 4 or 5 Black Russians (all booze, only vodka + Kahlua). This is amazing as I am the lightest of light weights and really shouldn't be doing anything after two cocktails let alone 5. But I needed an elixer.

The show ended and I ordered another drink. I remember spying Randy on stage taking things apart. I ran to the foot of the stage & yelled his name. He smiled and came over pulling me to an embrace and suggested we meet upstairs in the VIP lounge after a while.

When he arrived we clasped hands & I don't think I let go until the next day. Through the last four years we have learned so very much about each other and each day I think we fit together more perfectly. And through it all our hands have been clasped together and I think they always will be.

xoxx