An Open Apology.

Recently in conversation with someone I had a recollection. This person & I had been out of touch which was silly because we live a mere 3 miles apart. As we were were pledging to do better I laughed out loud & heard myself say, "I don't think I'll call you-- I don't like talking on the phone." This was news to my consciousness.

There was a time when I would talk on the phone so many hours that my cell phone bill would be sky high every month from going over my minutes. (This was obviously in the early days of cell phones as now there are so many unlimited plans that there is no reason to go over; these days, I think I may go under). I would spend my evenings catching up with friends from college or sometimes I would randomly call someone I hadn't spoken to in a long time, just to reconnect. I talked with my friend Jenny nearly everyday even though we lived thousands of miles apart. Currently I'm pretty sure I owe Jenny a phone call & I'm also pretty sure it's from several weeks ago. Sorry Jenny.

This seems to be the pattern. Someone calls, leaves me a message & I don't respond. I think about it, I make a plan to, but I just never execute it. I guess that the days of 6 hour phone conversations (Junior High) or talking until the sun comes up (falling in love) are probably over for me.

So to Jenny & all the others who I haven't called back, or took several days or weeks to do so, know that it's not you, it's me. It's something I know I need to get better at & while I'm not pledging to do so just yet, I will soon enough.

xoxo

The Absentee Blogger.

I find it funny that I feel guilty when I haven't blogged in a bit. And this time it has been a bit. Ten days to be exact and that was only a video post. I feel guilty for myself more than anyone else.

I have this grand vision that every morning I'll wake up early and sit at the dining room table drinking coffee and blogging. I would do a morning post everyday & a night post 3 times a week. It hasn't happened yet & I don't know if it ever will, but every night when I fall asleep I think to myself, "Tomorrow morning I'll wake up early to blog."

I am not a morning person, although I do think it must be nice to be one. Waking up early with the entire day ahead of you. I am a night person, I wake up late with only half the day left.

Much to my chagrin, I have always loved staying up late. When Handsome Randy is in town our regular bedtime is 3:30, not because we're just home from the bar & full of drinks, but because we just stay up late.

At one time we would stay up late and I would blog. Then it changed to staying up late and settling in the new house. Well, the house is all settled but I took a knitting class and now it's that we stay up late and I knit. I do think about blog posts while I knit, but then I need to change yarn, start a new row, or find a lost stitch...what about my blog again?

So at last dear readers, please bear with me. I will find a writing routine again soon enough. The new house is all settled and I am 2/3 done with the hat that I am knitting. Maybe, just maybe tomorrow morning will be the one that gets me out of bed early to blog.

xoxx

The Secret is Out

Okay, okay. So the big secret that I intermittently elude to from time to time is that we are hoping to buy a freaking house in the very near future.

It's not really a secret, I guess, and it certainly doesn't need to be. It's just that sometimes I feel that when I really really really really want something to happen it's best not to talk about it but rather to just keep it close to me. I am finally learning in my thirties that this might not be the best route.

So let me dish to you, and forgive me if you know the gory details already.

This winter, Handsome Randy & I decided it was time to purchase a house. We feverishly looked through out February & March kind of racing against the clock as he was leaving on a tour in early April. Our hope was to have a house picked out by the time he departed with a closing date scheduled for when he arrived home again.

The weekend before he left we put an offer in on a lovely old house in the neighborhood I grew up in. But it was a short sale, which despite what the Wikipedia link I provided says and the name implies, they are really not all that short. In fact it seems they are very long. Very, very long.

It has been 3 months and counting. We still have no idea if we submitted the best offer (there were many others) and if we did, we have no indication of when it would all be resolved and the house would be ours. We could find out tomorrow (unlikely) or next year (probable).

This long wait, in addition to new weirdo neighbors below, HR's impending travels & a lame-o landlord have me ready to move right now. So ready in fact, that sometimes at night I fall asleep coming up with strategies for packing up our house when it comes time to do so. I will relish the moment I can legitimately look for boxes, let alone actually put things in one.

So. HR arrives home from on Sunday and beginning Monday we will be back on the lookout for the ideal abode. Keep your fingers crossed; we only have one week before he has to depart on another expedition.

So there. I put it out there for all the universe to see. Perhaps something will come of this. I, of course, will keep you posted.

xoxx

grand plans.

You know how when you suddenly find yourself with a large chunk of freetime & you tend to make all these amazing plans for reorganization and day trips and project completions? And then the chunk of time comes and goes and really all you did was go grocery shopping, but you spent more money than usual because you had all this time to make things you don't typically have time to, except you didn't make them, you sat around watching a Project Runway marathon instead.

Yesterday, my beloved Handsome Randy boarded a tour bus & began a ten week long tour around the U.S. I've made all sorts of plans on how I will spend my time. In addition to visiting HR on the road a few times & watching the presidential campaign closely, I will eat healthier, keep the house super dooper clean & work out most mornings. I will write everyday and shoot photos twice per week and alter all those dresses "with potential" hanging in the closet.

This will all happen because I no longer have this hunk of a man distracting me.

Really?

I will probably eat healthier, but working out? Not in the morning (I really enjoy sleeping in), I do hope that I write more & shoot more photos, but the dresses in the closet "with potential"? I don't know, they've been in the closet for a long time and as for keeping the house clean? Maybe, but there are also a pile of dishes in the sink as I write this, so...maybe not.

Making these plans, whether they come to fruition or not, are my own way of coping with the absence of my partner for such an extended period of time. Every once in a while I encounter someone who will sigh to me with semi-pity when I tell them HR's whereabouts & the timeline it entails. I appreciate the sympathy, but I'm fine, we're fine & I know what I'm signed up for as my relationship with HR progresses. So it's expected actually (his absence) and part of the rhythm of what keeps us great.

In the mean time I have some dresses to alter or some television programs to catch up on & only ten weeks to do so.

xoxx

Spin Class is going well, Thank You.

Remember this post? Yeah, well, as of last week I still hadn't stepped foot in a yoga studio or a spin class. But I was gently reminded of my agreement with myself regarding my "BP" as we walked into Thanksgiving Dinner #3 & people promptly asked me how spin & yoga are. hmmm, maybe I should go so I could tell them.

Later on I signed into my myspace page to find a comment from an old college friend asking yet again how spin class was going. I laughed outloud & showed the comment to Handsome Randy who asked what I was going to tell her. Nothing; how can you reply when the answer is "I don't know, I haven't gone"?

So, Monday morning I woke up early (for me) with the gracious help of Handsome Randy and, in a zombie state, I traveled to my local ywca to partake in early morning spin class. Though times have changed since last winter, now it is simply called "cycle". I felt so good when it was over and even called my friend Jenny to tell her about it.

So getting there the first time is tough, but sometimes going back can be harder. So true.
This morning I arrived at the Y about 30 minutes too late for spin, er, cycle, but I did have one hell of a workout on the elliptical. And for that I can thank Le Tigre's "Deceptacon" for making me move. When it came up on my Ipod playlist I moved and grooved and bopped my head as though I was on a dance floor. I can only imagine what the woman next to me thought as she read and ellipticized. I feel really great & I almost am looking forward to the elliptical & deceptacon tomorrow morning.

Thanks for asking me about spin & yoga - if you hadn't I might still be putting off my BP action plan until next week, or maybe the week after...

xoxx

my BP.

In the Spring of 2002 I was about 15 - 20 pounds heavier than I am presently. I was determined to lose the weight & be healthier. I put together a plan of action and called it "The Dahli Beautification Project" or "The BP". It worked. I lost the weight in a couple of months, acquired better eating habits and felt better than I had in years.

I still feel pretty good, but every year about this time I notice that my daily work outs have become bi-monthly & I tend to justify eating pasta with heavy cream sauces more often (it'll make me feel warmer, I say). Ha! Maybe so, but not in the manner I'm imagining, in another that involves pants worn with the top button undone & lots of guilt. But having had a summer that left me feeling really, really good, I am determined to keep that feeling & not wait until January to do something about it.

I have just comprised a BP for 07.

Less cream sauce, more appearances to be made at spin class and yoga & more walks, snow or shine.

I am blogging it so I stick to it. You see, it's now in writing and I encourage you to ask me how spin class and yoga is going next time we meet - then I will keep on keepin' on..and go & work out. for real.

xoxx

weathering the changes.

Spring & fall seem to bring me days filled with self deprication: my state of life, my weight, my checkbook, my car, my toenails! It's a little bit ridiculous & I am currently in the midst of it, though I think I'm almost out. Almost. That is as soon as it snows.

Summer & Winter bring two distinctive lifestyles for me and I tend to think of spring and fall as the warm up to them. I love summer, I love the feel of a hot, humid summer night more than anything (remember this post?). But I also love winter especially the nights quiet from snowfall. So what's the problem? Why is it so hard to adjust to changing seasons when for 24 of my 29 years I have lived through the entire cycle in the same place?

I have come to the conclusion (as I do every equinoxal season) that the changing of weather freaks me out. Change is good, it's essential and I know this. But coming from a place where our regional culture and conversation is quite centered around the weather it's no wonder the change of it has seeped into my psyche. I know I can't control when the last "good day" will be or when the first frost will happen, and that suspense is hard for me to swallow. I like patterns and habit. I like knowing when things are going to happen. For example, I really appreciate that it is typical for the 3rd week of January to be the coldest ever. I don't know that this is really accurate, but for over ten years I have told myself as much and it seems to be true. There will definately be a January where the 3rd week isn't the coldest and I'll live through it. But, in the mean time, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Because I can not be instrumental in the changes of weather I look inward at changes I can be such as those noted above. So I pick at myself and the things that I mean to work on all summer and get a little down about it. But, I'm almost through it, just as soon as it snows.
xoxx

long time no blog.

oh, i know. it's been a million and one years since i've uttered a word. well..work has been busy, handsome randy left for a 2 month tour last week and autumn was arriving..always bittersweet as I love summer oh so much but am so ready to wear sweater dresses again! here's a symbolic end of summer photo to tide you over...a lone boat crossing the lake (minnewawa, no joke) for one last time on labor day evening.

i'll post a lengthier post soon.
xoxx