24 Years Ago Today.

24 years ago today it was a Monday. Like any other Monday morning, I took the bus to school. But unlike any other Monday morning, my grandpa waited with me. We all had someone waiting with us that morning; Jacob Wetterling had been abducted the night before.

24 years ago today was the first morning Jacob Wetterling didn't wake up with his family. The night before Jacob, his brother and a friend were riding their bikes when a man wearing a mask came out of a field with a gun. He ordered all three boys to lay face down on the road. Releasing the other two, he kept Jacob who hasn't been seen since.  It was the epitamy of stranger abduction. 

24 years ago today, I worried for Jacob, wondering if he was okay. I didn't know him, but we were the same age and in the same grade so I felt a connection with him. He looked like someone that would have been in my class or live on my block. He was wearing clothes that so many boys my age wore: sweatpants & a hockey jacket. I remember watching the story on television thinking, "this could have been Justin or Noah or Mike or Joe or...." 

24 years ago today the conversation at the 6th grade lunch table was all about Jacob. Much like our parents, we were all pretty freaked out by what happened to him.  We made speculations of where he was, why it happened & all of us relayed what we overheard of our parents conversations regarding Jacob and what they said to us that morning when they shoved us off to school. "My mom cried when she kissed me goodbye today," I vividly remember one classmate saying with rolling eyes. But we all knew our parents were scared for us. We were scared for us too.

24 years ago today was the first of many consecutive days that Jacob Wetterling appeared in the newspaper headlines. For months he was there. And just as he started to fade away a sighting would be reported, or there would be rumors of a body showing up and back on the front page he would be. At one point a story was circulating of a kid going to an Illinois payphone, calling 911 & saying he was Jacob. Nothing ever came of it & Jacob was never found. 

24 years ago today I cannot imagine what Jerry & Patty Wetterling were going through. And now as a parent, I can only hope that I never will have to know. Stories like this bring you to hug and love up your kids spontaneously through out the day and savor moments watching them just being themselves.

24 years ago today I had no idea that Jacob Wetterling would remain in my unconsciousness for the rest of my life. When I started college I wondered where Jacob would have gone, when I moved back to Minneapolis with my college degree in hand, I wondered what part of world Jacob would have moved to with his degree. Last night I sat at the dinner table with my son & wondered if Jacob would have had kids by this point in his life, what would he be doing at THIS MOMENT. Once you wonder about an element of what his life would have, could have, should have been, you can't help but imagine the rest.  

24 years ago today the world changed forever. In Minnesota and beyond, people began to watch their kids a little bit closer, making them check in a little more often & not allowing them to go as far into the world as they would have before.

24 years ago today everyone changed from who they were 24 years ago yesterday.

Winter Entertainment

We are all getting a little bit stir crazy as this winter has been impressively cold so far. When the first snow fell in mid December, I opened the door for the cats to go out as usual in the morning. It was a cold morning and I hadn't ever let them out in snow before. Asha, the braver of the two ran out as fast she could only to run right back in even faster. She hasn't mewed at the door since.

The last couple of days have brought us warm winter weather. Yesterday it reached a nice, balmy 30. We are in winter heaven. Today I opened the door for the cats to go out for the first time in over a month. They both came trotting along quite happily stopping dead in their tracks about a foot before the door. There is no path beyond the door, only a big snow drift from shoveling the walk. In unison, they crept up to it slowly and looked out sniffing the air with anticipation of what was out there.

Neither ever ventured into the snow, they only stood there and sniffed, almost falling over each other, for about five minutes. When I finally shut the door (we are not interested in heating the backyard after all) they ran about the house with the kind of energy burst that only comes from being outside (or sniffing the outdoorsy air). Darting in and out of rooms, leaping high over obstacles. If cats could laugh, ours would have been giggling incessantly.

And this, my non Minnesotan friends, is how we get through the winter. We entertain ourselves with stories of high snow drifts, cats who are afraid of it, and the excitement of a 30 degree day in January. All of which are incredibly amazing things, especially if you haven't been able to go outside comfortably in a month.

xoxx

magical snow.

Snow. The magic of white flakes falling from the sky.
It is so very magical.
When my grandmother was living she always seemed to be so happy when the pretty white flakes feel from the sky, especially when they were those thick, tissue paper like kind that are so picturesque. Sometimes, when it snows I feel as though that is her way of saying hello & I try really hard to feel her presence.
This weekend it snowed overnight. I slept late & walked out of the house to meet Handsome Randy & there it was: SNOW! Not a lot, only enough to blanket the yard with a few fallen leaves poking through. But enough to make it officially winter in Minneapolis & celebrate my grandma's love for snow for a few moments while I relished her memory.
xoxx

heat wave.

We have had a quite a cold spell here in Minneapolis in recent weeks. I think that most of January was spent in temperatures between 10 (yes, just plain old 10) and negative ___ (you fill in the blank). Add in the wind chill factor & your bones are even cold. Seriously.
I'm at the point in this season where I have stopped listening to the weather. I just know I need to wear thick black tights, a couple layers on top, and not to leave home without my mittens, hat and scarf or I'll be really sorry.

But the last couple of days have felt really warm. I even walked outside for a few blocks yesterday with my jacket unzipped and it felt really nice. I didn't really make a conscious thought of what the temperature actually was, I just knew it felt pretty warm in comparison to recent weeks.
Last night I was waiting on a group of people from Orange County, California. It was a beautiful night: huge snow flakes falling from the sky and pretty warm outside for winter, I thought. This group was sitting at a table surrounded by windows. At some point I encouraged them to enjoy the beautiful night. They stared at me blankly and one woman said, "Beautiful?! It's cold!"
"Do you think so?" I said.

She explained that they were from Orange County and that their hotel was 3 blocks away and the concierge encouraged them to walk and it was a tought experience. It is a short walk, three blocks. But not to 4 Orange County residents in 15 degrees.

Yes. This heat wave, this warm weather what I galavanted down the street with an unzipped coat and my hat and mittens in my bag was fifteen degrees.

xoxx

a mini-break in the great northwoods

Northern Minnesota is a magical place anytime of year. But the solitude & silence that one encounters way up there in the middle of winter almost makes the snow on the tree branches sparkle.

Handsome Randy & I spent a couple days in Grand Marais, MN earlier this week. We arrived on Monday evening just after everyone finished digging out of the two feet of snow that fell on Sunday. This gave us a beautiful backdrop as we snowshoed through a few state parks on Tuesday.

The weather was glorious: a warm 20 degrees with the lightest of snow falling. and we stayed in a lovely little cabin right on Lake Superior! It was an amazing & relaxing time with minimal cell phone service (very nice for a woman whose partner loves his blackberry) and a lot of scrabble and giggling.

xoxx


for more photos from our trip go here

a favourite shot.

visit from dad + 3 Hip Hop Shows + dinner at Fogo De Chao = a very busy weekend & plenty of photos.

Here's one of my favs...

I took this at the Atmosphere show on Saturday night at First Avenue.

xoxx

long time no blog.

oh, i know. it's been a million and one years since i've uttered a word. well..work has been busy, handsome randy left for a 2 month tour last week and autumn was arriving..always bittersweet as I love summer oh so much but am so ready to wear sweater dresses again! here's a symbolic end of summer photo to tide you over...a lone boat crossing the lake (minnewawa, no joke) for one last time on labor day evening.

i'll post a lengthier post soon.
xoxx

The Great Minnesota Get Together

The event that means summer is almost over. 10 days of Livestock, rides, fried food & "Live From The Fair" news casts, and of course all you can drink milk for $1! I love it. It is quintessentially Minnesota.















xoxx

It has been three weeks exactly since The Bridge.
Oddly, it has been a repellant for me. I haven't wanted anything to do with it or be anywhere near it. Handsome Randy and I were en route to our house a couple of days ago & he went the longest way just so we could drive near the it. My stomach turned as we drove over an overpass and saw the buckled concrete in the distance. Really, truly turned.
But he can't stay away. He has been home for just over a week and has probably gone to the area 7 or 8 or six times. A few minutes ago I called him & he was on his way there again. "I have a few minutes to kill, so I thought i'd head down there." I don't get it.
The thought of going there has made me wanna throw up. The carnage, the lives lost and altered, the horror we all felt that day.And it just hits a little too close. I drove over that bridge maybe 30 minutes before it went down. Had HR not been in town it would have been later. I drove over that bridge all the time. 4+ days a week.
Early this morning the last body was pulled from the wreckage. This means that the nearby bridges will be opening up soon. Bridge #9 is a pedestrian bridge quite close to the site. HR and I rode our bikes down there this afternoon. I intitially was a bit wobbly as made our way across. I just didn't want to see it. But then as I looked over it wasn't so hard, I grew fascintated and snapped some photos. I grew teary as I thought of our friend who was injured and of those who lost people they love.
We stood there and stared quietly. About 20 others were on bridge #9 with us & when word were spoken they seemed to be in hushed tones.
shh, we have to be quiet.
After a while a man approached us naming an intersection near our house asking if we lived there. He was a somalian immigrant who owns the gas station at that intersection and recognized us from getting gas there. We talked about our friend, he talked about his friend who lost his wife, their 22 month old daughter and a baby that was expected to arrive in coming months. He pointed out how ironic it was that his friend's wife came to Minneapolis from an impoverished war torn country having survived a bloody, violent time only to die in a bridge collapse in the world's wealthiest country.

tonight's event.

i am sitting in my dining room in the dark. All of the windows are open letting in the sound of water falling hard, flashes of light flood the room erratically and loud pops shake the house.
There is an amazing thunderstorm passing through and I am savoring every moment of it.
Lightning flashes at least 40 times per minute and the rumbling of thunder is constant with crashes that make me jump everytime. The wind is strong and the rain is heavy. Car alarms are going off from vibrations. People shreik as they run through the storm to their houses. Cars swish through the streets as they slowly drive to their destinations. Our porch door is blown shut and the hanging plant & birdfeeder are swaying back and forth fast and furious.
oh, how i love it.
I turn on the television. "SEVERE WEATHER" flashes on the screen menacingly. The weatherman speaks of flash floods and funnel clouds. Meanwhile the crashes and flashes continue outside as the rain continues to pour. I hole up on the sofa to watch and listen as the storm reminds my city that mother nature still rules all. I am mesmerized.
The rain stops, only the drip drip drip from the gutters can be heard. There are still some flickerings and low rumblings as the storm moves on. Sirens whirl in the distance and the crickets are chirping again. she has left us.
Neighbors are milling about surveying the aftermath of the storm. We greet each other knowingly and proudly. We are proud of our weather and we know it's amazing.
xoxx

the day bridge went down.

a major bridge in my city collapsed yesterday.
i'm okay - i wasn't on the bridge though I had driven over it 30 minutes before it fell. I drive over it all the time, probably 5 or 6 times a week. it's crazy and sad and mystifiing and frustrating and leaves you feeling raw. right now i feel really raw.
I'd just walked into First Avenue (the music club/venue) to see the Paid Dues Festival when Randy approached me and said "BK just left; julie was on a bridge that collapsed." what? He didn't know anything more.
Brother Ali was set to go on momentarily but wasn't going to since his DJ (BK) had just left to see to his fiance (Julie). I stepped outside to make a phone call and the phone lines were jammed. Still unaware of the perpensity of the bridge collapse I thought nothing of it and hit redial. Then I overheard it: The 35W bridge over the mississippi collapsed into the river. I immediately thought of Julie and imagined her swimming in the river to shore. I imagined a titanic like scene of hundreds of people in the water screaming for help. I imagined many cars floating in the river as they gradually succumbed to the water. I felt frantic. And I didn't even calculate in all of the steele and concrete and sharp materials bridges are made from.
I called my dad, "I'm okay, but there has been a bridge collapse here. Would you turn on CNN and tell me what's going on?" From Kansas City, for about 20 minutes my dad recounted to me what CNN was reporting. Between "OH MY GODs" he noted a school bus that somehow didn't go over. Little did I know that was the bus Julie was on.
I finished the call with my dad & went back into the club to find randy. I got word that he was on his way to the hospital with Ali. I walked to the lightrail & got on en route to the hospital. At this point I had no idea of Julie's condition, I only knew that she was on the bridge. she was all I was thinking about.
Through out this time I received several mass text messages from friends asking, "Everyone Ok?", 2 of my aunts called, so did my cousin and my mom's boyfriend. By the time I got to my stop I recieved a message from randy that he was back at the club. Julie was injured but slated to be OK. I got off the lightrail anyway & stood there unsure what to do. I could go left and go to the hopsital or I could go right & see the bridge. This is also the stop for the Metrodome & was it was a Twins game night. hundreds of fans stood around in a daze seeming as unsure as I was.
I headed for the bridge. I got about half way there & decided I really wanted to be with Randy so I went back to the club. I got there in time to kiss him and wish him a good set as he left for the soundboard to engineer sets for Living Legends & Felt. I sat in the green room with my friend, Jessie feeling antsy and weird. I wanted to see the bridge.
So I got back on the lightrail. By the time I reached the banks of the mississippi dusk was upon us. The light outside was this amazing orange, giving the feeling that the entire city was under an amber spotlight. The pedestrian only Stone Arch Bridge was closed and so was River Road which goes beneath the bridge. I stood on the bank of the river squinting to see. My Uncle Chris phoned me around this time. He was watching CNN. He told me what he was seeing on television and I told him what I was seeing in person. I couldn't see much & felt a bit relieved of that. There were people everywhere squinting in the direction of the bridge and talking, exchanging tales of where they were when they heard of the collapse and if they knew anyone who was on it. A handful of people had super dooper zoom lenses on their cameras and were shooting like crazy.
I only stayed at the river for about 10 minutes. Then I went back to the club arriving in time to see the last half of Felt's set.
As I stood there watching the show I thought about how normal it seemed in the room, as though nothing was different in our city. I knew the moment the show ended it would all be real again. Slug introduced the last song warning the audience that it would feel weird "out there" and to be sensitive to everyone's reaction when we left the show. I mentally hugged him for that aknowledgement.
The set was over and reality began. When randy & I got home we layed in our bed & watched CNN in disbelief of not only the event but how it was indeed world news. I cried, we held hands & sat silently watching the media coverage.
I don't really know how to end this post. I feel as though I should express some sort of reflection, but I don't have any; I'm just really exhausted and raw.
xoxx